(Closed) Prenup

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
3078 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think it’s pretty normal these days.  You really do never know what might happen down the line.

Post # 4
Member
1917 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t see anything wrong with it, but what happens if you have kids and decide to stay home to take care of them.  If you get divorced, will he help support you?

I think you just want to make sure you on the same page about finances and your roles in the relationship.  It’s better to talk about this now, rather than later down the road when it’s too late.

Post # 5
Member
2025 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t see anything wrong with it. My mother and her husband have a prenup. He has been very financially responsible up until now and has a son of his own. Not to mention her last husband had less than stellar ethics about money and wouldn’t think twice about destroying her credit, which is now his credit as well.

Post # 6
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it’s pretty normal. Considering this man has gone thorugh this before, he is probably more realistic about what can potentially occur down the road.

Post # 7
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would do the prenup if you’d like. Just make sure that you’re okay with the terms and that the prenup has your best interest as well.

Post # 9
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

If he has something worth protecting then he should cover himself just in case the unthinkable happens (in this case, divorce). He’s obviously been screwed over before and he doesn’t want that to happen again. No-one can say for sure that their relationship is going to last forever, especially when you look at the statistics. 

Post # 10
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t see anything wrong with this … you just have to make sure that you guys are on the same page in terms of child support and whatever else so you don’t get screwed over 🙂

Post # 11
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

and it’s not just about the money.  it’s about figuring out a way to dissolve the marriage and separate your lives while you both still have respect and love for each other.

Post # 12
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

Yes. Sign a prenup. BUT it should protect both of you, not just him. Go over it with your own attorney and consider how you would want or need to be taken care of in a divorce, especially if it’s a “fault” divorce (like if he cheats on you, etc.). You can write in all of that sort of thing – like, if you choose to mutually go your ways, he keeps what % he came in with, etc. but if you have evidence of an affair, you get $X alimony/retirement/etc.

OR if you have kids and sacrifice your career to stay home, you should be financially protected in case of a divorce, even mutual, because you are providing a service that the two of you otherwise would have had to pay for (childcare) AND taking a depreciation on your own career value with a gap in your resume, etc.

So, in summary, don’t sign something that just says you get $0 if something happens. Talk to your OWN attorney (not the same one who helped him draft it; that’s a conflict of interests) and make sure YOU are protected.

Post # 13
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I don’t see anything wrong with it. You don’t go buy car insurance expecting to get in an accident; you drive around and expect you’re going to get home just fine. A prenup is just like that. I don’t think it starts the marriage off with an expectation of failure.

Also if you do get a prenup, make sure you update it every year or so, to reflect your changing financial situation, kids, stuff like that.

Post # 14
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

Well, you answered your own question– he learned from his last marriage. 

Presumably, he didn’t think that one was going to end either… But the fact is, people change, and if you ever find yourselves in that kind of a situation, he wants to ensure that he is protected.  I don’t think it’s anying personal, and I wouldn’t worry about it because ideally, neither of you will ever think about that document after the day its signed. 

Post # 15
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@QuietOne:  Totally agree, well put.

 

 

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