(Closed) prenup

posted 4 years ago in Money
Post # 76
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I have pre-nup and I have been married a lot longer than some of the bees who post about leaving their spouses so yeah the setting up marriage for failure thing is just a judgemental, ignorant thing people say.

It took 200 years for my family to get the rights to the lands that were stolen from them by white people so you can bet that I am going to use the white man’s laws to protect them from falling back into non-traditional owners hands. My family also worked very very hard for over 100 years to build a thriving business and again why should ownership of that fall into non family hands? Prenups protect more than just the couple, they protect kids and family interests as well.

I also love the naivety of some posts. I work for a domestic violence network and whilst most people like to think it is just “poor” people that end up seeking help from shelters they don’t know how wrong they are. At least 50% of the women we help are from middle to upper middle class backgrounds. They have to start life over with nothing most of the time due to not wanting to engage with their ex for settlements. We often urge them not to bother as most abusers use the process to control and manipulate. A pre-nup (which are usually enforced here in the courts especially in domestic violence situations) would protect them from needing to do that.  

No one ever goes into marriage thinking it will end but shit happens. You would be surprised at what things can lead to divorce, like the fact that a high percentage of women who get cancer end up divorced. 

Post # 77
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Absoutely would. Same thought I have on prenups is no diffrent than why I have health, home, car insurance. 

Post # 78
728 posts
Busy bee

I would not sign a prenup in our current relationship and would be offended if he asked honestly. His family does have a significant amount of money in property and land and things like that. His father also owns his owns business (FIs not taking it over or going into it or anything like that though). Mutually, we don’t have any real assets right now because we are in school still so anything we earn after we are married is jointly ours regardless of whose paycheck actually earns it. We are one unit and don’t look at things earned as his or mine. I don’t really agree that a prenup is similar to insurance. It’s pretty inevitable that your’re going to use your health insurance or car insurance at some point during your life. Not inevitable you’re going to get a divorce. If someone wants a pre-nup and both parties are fine with it then that’s fine, but not my cup of tea. 

Post # 79
1272 posts
Bumble bee

We will have a pre-nup at his request and I’m fine with it. I have student loan and car debt right now (though both will be gone or close to being gone by the time we’re married), and a couple thousand in the bank. He owns a condo, has 90K in the bank and trades stocks for his retirement. We plan to split what was accumulated after the marriage, in the event of the divorce.

Someone here likened pre-nups to insurance and I think that is a good way to put it.

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