Post # 1
Anyone have one, or have experience with one? Long story short, I was talking to a friend who is considering getting married, but he said they aren’t worth anything in California or New York. That the only winner is the lawyer, and judges don’t even give them a look. What are your thoughts and/or experiences?
Post # 2
What do you mean they aren’t worth anything? They are a legal binding contract.
Post # 3
dionsmom : We have a prenup. It was my idea.
You cannot legally have a prenup that gives you less than you would be entitled to by the legislation in your jurisdiction.
It is a great way to decide upon the dispoasl of assets while you are still calm, rational human beings, instead of waiting until you are both upset, likely angry, with hurt feelings and having trouble negotiating rationally.
Post # 4
dionsmom : “That the only winner is the lawyer, and judges don’t even give them a look.”
Absolutely not true, even in places where prenups aren’t legally binding they are still considered by the judge.
Prenups make sense in many situations.
Post # 5
Not sure what you mean by they aren’t worth anything. They are worth what assets you have to cover. If neither of you have major assets, then no it is probably not worth it because there isn’t much to protect. But if you own a business or have a huge inheritance, then it may be worth it to protect yourselves.
Post # 6
That’s what I was thinking, but he was saying that he has friends that are lawyers and they don’t recommend them because after all is said and done (and billed), the lawyers make a nice chunk of change and the families are still ripped apart. That the paperwork is looked at, and that’s it, because judges don’t like to be told how to split things (finances, property, etc).
But my thought was it’s a contract, and isn’t the point of a contract to be covered if something happens? You make a decision while you love and like each other, as opposed to making a decision when you’re wounded and angry.
Post # 7
Haha ok tell him his lease agreement / property deeds / living will / student loan docs / whatever aren’t worth anything either.
Post # 8
Judges don’t make the decision on how things are split. The lawyers duke it out if you and your stbxh can’t agree.
Post # 9
Your friend sounds like he had a bad legal experience once and now is incredibly bitter.
A prenup is a contract. That is all it is. It’s not magic – it isn’t going to make a divorce with lots of hard feelings suddenly not be an emotionally difficult time. But as long as you aren’t stupid putting in unenforceable clauses (like most states don’t let you determine custody or child support via prenups or things that violate the law) and it wasn’t signed under duress or against state requirements (like CA requires there be legal representation involved for alimony clauses to be enforceable), then it is enforceable. And many places, especially those with no fault divorce, won’t enforce lifestyle clauses (like getting a settlement if there is infidelity). So yeah, if you’re looking to punish your soon to be ex, a prenup is a hard way to do that. If you are looking to protect assets and future earnings in a fair and legal way before it becomes all out warfare then it is vital. If anything, because CA is a no fault state and a community property state, I’d be hell bent on getting a prenup if there were significant earning potential and/or discrepancy in earnings between me and my partner.
Post # 10
dionsmom : Yeah, it doesn’t sound like your friends are real lawyers…none of that information is accurate or professional.
Post # 11
annabananabee : Hi, you seem super knowledgeable! Do you know if NY is a no fault state and if lifestyle clauses are enforceable here?
Post # 12
sharpshooter : stbxh = soon to be ex husband?
Post # 13
dionsmom : I have one too. Ours didn’t have anything about custody for kids since our state prohibits that. The rest is fair game
Post # 14
dionsmom : Depending on where you live, binding financial agreements are enforceable if:
– They are fair and considered
– Each party had their own legal representation
– Neither party was coerced or forced into signing the agreement
– They are professionally put together. Any errors can see them thrown out
Pre-nups are expensive. They range from $5,000-$50,000 for each party depending on the complexity of an individual’s assets etc. They are absolutely binding as long as everything is solid.
Post # 15
Ok. That’s what I was thinking-he must have misunderstood or had a bad experience. A contract is a contract, regardless of the state and/or purpose. Thanks for your input, bees!