(Closed) Prenup?

posted 4 years ago in Legal
Post # 17
Member
10109 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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dionsmom :  

Prenups often fail because of a perceived inequality of bargaining power.  One of the criteria for a valid contract is that it be a freely bargained for exchange.  Thus, both partners would have to have a true meeting of the minds to convince a court to uphold a prenup.

More commonly, there are inequities and often enough, feelings of coercion.

And as mentioned above, some prenups are so poorly drafted as to be in violation of prevailing laws in the jurisdictions in which they were written.

Contract law is not simple.  If it was, lawyers wouldn’t be so expensive.

Post # 19
Member
7222 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Team pre-nup all day every day!

Post # 20
Member
10109 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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dionsmom :  

You are very welcome.  

Post # 21
Member
8674 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

i have a prenup in WA state.  I will say my lawyer was very careful to make sure I understood what could and couldn’t be done, and we took measures to make sure no one could later throw it out by claiming it was signed “under duress” (e.g. it was signed over 3 months before the wedding so that no one could say that the impending wedding was stressing them out!)  

She was VERY relieved when we said we did NOT want to:

– waive alimony rights

– say anything about out unborn children

– divide our marital income up (or dictate how our common property would be divided up upon divorce, as anything other than 50/50)

My lawyer is a top family lawyer in Seattle and my prenup was around $3k I think?  DH’s was around $1.5k since all his had to do was review the paperwork and sign.  His should’ve been cheaper but he decided to make some more work for himself and went and added clauses and crap DH didn’t even ask for… which DH and I only learned about when we actually saw a “final draft” and we were like “wtf what is this crap?”.  Anyway, turns out he charged hourly for the work he made for himself–which in the end was all removed anyway *rolls eyes*.

Post # 22
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

As a lawyer, I would recommend a prenup.  However, I do not have one myself.  The reason being that I got married at 21, when neither my husband (29 at the time) or I had any belongings.  Any property that we acquire during marriage, in Florida, is subject to equitable distribution (which I am OK with), so I did not find a prenup useful in our situation.  I also think my husband would have been opposed to one.  But yeah, I would advise getting one if you have assets.  

Post # 23
Member
1030 posts
Bumble bee

I did not have a prenup with my first marriage, but we were pretty fair about splitting things. The three things that we disagreed on (child support, a fund my parents started for me as a child that I never commingled with my ex, and my ex’s pension) were all easily decided in mediation by simple law interpretation. 

Fiance has said he’s ok with us doing a prenup but does not feel the need. We are not commingling the majority of our assets, so I’m not sure if there will be a point. We are both in agreement that we want our individual estates going to our own children with a little set aside to help each other. 

Post # 24
Member
39 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Well, I don’t know. I think prenup sounds like carving up home and taking marriage as someone’s asset.

Post # 25
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I’m a lawyer in NY – I did a bit of family law. 

Pre-nups that aren’t fair and totally screw one party are deemed worthless – actually might hurt the benefiting spouse in the pre-nup. People seem to think that you can have a prenup that say “when we get a divorce, the other spouse who made way less or stayed at home to take care of the kids- get nothing”. Not only will the judge throw that pre-nup out, that will only make that person look like a total jerk in the judge’s eye.

Even if pre-nups aren’t that one sided, somebody can always try to fight it. No contract of any kind is 100% binding everytime. That’s why poeple hate lawyers. 

That being said – in general, no, pre-nups are not completely worthless. 

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