(Closed) Prenup Advice……should I be angry he wants one????

posted 8 years ago in Legal
Post # 3
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i sorry but i have to agree with your hubby… i know i have worked hard for what i have (my house, car, savings, etc) and while i love my soon to be hubby, i know that things do happen, and prenups are a way to protect both of you. i had all of these things before my fi came along and i want to make sure i have them if he ever choses to leave. what your fi has may be ‘average’ but it is his… dont be angry… the prenup could be good for both of you!

Post # 4
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Would it make a difference if he owned his own company since that would be considered more than “average”? I believe that whats yours before the marriage is yours, whats his before the marriage is his…what you buy/make/attain while you are marriage is “ours”

I agree with Stephanie and your husband.  

Sorry Frown

Post # 5
Member
858 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with the previous posters. I guess its nice that he didn’t just spring it on you before the wedding ala Miss Tattoo’s post a week or so ago. I think you should sign it, but if you’re really worried about being left out in the cold, you could compromise on something like where he gives you 5% of his paycheck monthly or something, and it goes up with each child? I have no idea, I’m not a lawyer. 🙂 But my advice is talk to him about it, but probably let him have his assurance on his house and Harley. I hope it all works out for you.

Post # 6
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m going to have to side with him as well. It is stuff that he’s accumulated and the prenup will only come into play if anything were to happen. To me, it’s a matter of fairness.

Post # 7
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with all the previous posters. While you’re married, you’ll obviously be sharing everything. And everything you attain while being married is both of yours. But if you should get divorced, there’s really no reason for you to have a claim to things he had before the marriage. 

Post # 8
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I signed one and occasionally pay for the faults of the ex, but in the end I don’t really care about “just in case” as I plan on being here forever and if he needs to use it as his security blanket than so be it. 

Post # 9
Member
46607 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with your husband. The easiest way for me to work out my position in situations like this is to reverse the positions.

If you were a millionaire, would you be happy to divide your assets 50/50 with him?

Prenups are not personal- they are simply common sense.

Post # 10
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

Where do you live?  I know in NJ everything is divided up 50%, regardless of who’s name is on it and when you got it and also prenups are thrown out sometimes here.

Post # 11
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

I agree with pp BUT!! if you two are married and it has a mortgage which OUR money goes towards or renovations/improvements then you should be entitled. And don’t let him hold back on ever improving the house purely to keep you from getting a cut in case of divorce!! It’s going to be your home (if not your house). …

I can see both sides here

Post # 12
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Prenups are only good until you have children anyway. I agree just sign it.

Post # 13
Member
31 posts
Newbee

Do you have your own lawyer? If not, get one immediately. I’m very pro-prenup and think they can be a useful way to discuss financial matters before they blow up in your face. It’s not necessarily ‘planning for divorce’ or ‘punishing you for his ex’s mistakes’. It could be his way of making sure that your marriage starts off on the right foot.

 

A great resource is Manisha Thakor’s book, “Get Financially Naked”. It’s all about money and relationships and prenups. Very helpful!

Post # 14
Member
3758 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would be upset too, IMO a prenup is just saying they don’t trust you and they wan’t to cover themselves if you get a divorce  (Ido not believe in divorces unless someone was unfaithful) but like I said thats JUST MY OPINION

Post # 15
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I can see both sides.

I can understand why your Fiance wants to make sure that his Harley remains his. I 100% agree that that should be his no matter what…regardless of how long you were married.

As far as the house is concerned, I can see you wanting to make sure you are protected but it kind of depends on how much he has left to pay, if you will be contributing to the mortgage, and how many years that you were married prior to a divorce. I mean, do you think you would be entitled to a portion of the value of the home after 1 year of marriage? Figure out what would be fair and get legal representation of your own. Your Fiance can’t just dictate terms, you both have to come to a mutual agreement.

EDIT: I didn’t answer the question. No I don’t think you should be angry.

Post # 16
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with him. I’m signing one as is my mate and we both have our own attorneys. I work in politics and he works for a government agency-we acquired significant physical and financial assets before we met. I don’t feel entitled to anything that was in his home before we got together just because I chose to marry him. And it works the other way around.

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