(Closed) Prenup Advice……should I be angry he wants one????

posted 9 years ago in Legal
Post # 197
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@littlemissmango:  I get what you’re saying, thanks for clarifying (ironically, your living together example pretty much nails my opinion on that particular subject.) I am all too familiar with  logic vs. emotionally driven thought processes, as I deal with it both at work and at home.  My Fiance is much more emotionally driven than I am so most of our fights (which, thankfully, are few and far between) consist of me trying to lay out the logic behind my position and him responding from a purely emotional (and often illogical) place.  Needless to say, it usually ends up being an exercise in both frustration and futility.   

  

Post # 198
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@littlemissmango: Haha, yup that’s exactly it! I fully respect anyone who realizes that divorce is always a possibility for them too, and understands the objective risks of not having a prenup, but has opted not to have one for whatever personal reasons they have. I honestly completely respect that.

What I don’t respect is when someone builds their whole argument against prenups on an untenable premise (i.e. “I KNOW we will never get divorced”) and then makes all kinds of insulting inferences about people who do get prenups – that they don’t trust each other, that they don’t take their marriage vows seriously, etc.

So yeah, I think we’re on the same page! I have to say, chatting with you about this has been really interesting and thought-provoking. I hope it didn’t seem like I was dismissing your points earlier, and I apologize if it did. I think your posts are always so insightful. 🙂

Post # 199
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@lezlers: But your Fiance considers your hair, nails and facials to be necessary expenses!! I’ve never heard anything more logical!

Seriously though, I’m envious.

Post # 200
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@jayce:  and clothing!  I told him I posted that in a thread and he said “don’t forget your clothes, too!”

So yeah, I suppose he DOES think logically at times.  😀

Post # 201
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@lezlers: Your clothes too?! Oh, I die!!

Post # 202
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@jayce:  well, my suits at least.  As for casual clothes, I stealthily bring in shopping bags and he pretends not to notice.  It works out nicely.

Post # 203
Member
1726 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@lezlers: Interesting that your Fiance is more of an emotional person! With the exception of the hair, spa, and clothes thing, haha! He sounds pretty awesome. I think it’s probably better to have a bit of balance in a relationship when it comes to that, now that I think about it. Actually, my Fiance uses a much healthier dose of logic in his reasoning than I do (lol), and I think it helps in our decision making together.

@jayce: Totally on the same page! 🙂 And what a nice thing to say! I enjoy reading your posts as well, and thought they added a lot to the discussion (and were not at all dismissive!). It’s nice to be able to have intelligent conversations here about things other than cake and flowers!

 

Post # 204
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

all i can say is that jessica simpson father didnt waNT HER  to get a prenup to nick lashey.she ended up being the bigger star  and had to end up paying him a hefty sum.uu never kn where life may lead u.u could win the lottery…

Post # 205
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

A prenup isn’t only for the event of a divorce, it is also useful in the event of a premature death.

Suppose you own a condo (put up all the downpayment) and when you marry, your spouse moves in with you and you share payments for mortgage, taxes, upkeep. Then 10 years later a tragic thing happens and you die. Your spouse then remarries, guess what, that new woman, without a prenup, now owns half of your condo without making a single new payment. Suppose, you have children, if  your husband dies, the house goes to her, not your children.

If you have a prenup, when you die, half of that condo goes to your children because  in the prenup, you’ve noted that you have paid the down payment of your condo and that should be your sole asset and that part will never go to your husband. Your children get something of yours regardless.

My grandmother died at age 42 and my mother at age 55, both of cancer. My sister-in-law died at 46. Cancer. Sometimes old age never comes.

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