(Closed) Prenup Advice……should I be angry he wants one????

posted 10 years ago in Legal
Post # 77
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

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@Treasure43:  I know.  I’m like a possum in headlights, I can’t look away.  Or watching a train wreck. It breaks my heart 🙁

Post # 78
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@Socrates: exactly! they dont speak up because their reasoning doesnt make a bit of sense in most cases. i think any smart person going into a marriage would prefer to have a prenup rather than not… it is there to help both parties in the event of seperation… and at a higher than 50% divorce rate… id rather be safe than sorry. just sayin…

Post # 79
Member
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

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@tobin: righttttttttttttttttttttttttt…. i read the past posts too!

Post # 80
Member
1643 posts
Bumble bee

I just went over all your past posts and saw one thing in common. Every single one was about how miserable he makes you. You’ve not said one good thing about this man or this relationship. I’m never one to say “leave” or “don’t leave” but STOP. Stop making excuses for your misery. Stop allowing yourself to be hurt and lead on and rejected over and over and OVER. Happiness is a choice. Get out now.

 

As for the pre-nup issue? I agree with your Fiance and everyone who has posted pro-prenup. You’re being incredibly selfish. Based on this thread and what you’ve said in some others it seems you entered into this relationship to GET something, be it house or financial help. You don’t enter into a marriage to “get” what the other person has. You enter into a marriage because you want to build a common future with the person you love above all others. 

Post # 81
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@MissHoneyBun:  I think everyone should probably save their keystrokes with this one.  Despite numerous threads allegedly asking for advice, she’s determined to put her hands over her ears and sing “la la la!!!” at the top of her lungs whenever anyone tells her what she doesn’t want to hear. 

This one is insisting on learning the hard way.  I just feel bad for the children involved. 

Post # 83
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@lezlers:  As always…you speak the words of wisdom.  I read through all her previous posts…. oy vey. 

Post # 84
Member
636 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Holy cow…after looking at your previous posts, my advice would be to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

But, based on the fact that you’ve only replied to people who agree with your position on the pre-nup and have ignored all of the other genuine, heartfelt advice on how to remove yourself from the situation, I would say the WILL is missing here.

Good luck to you and God help your daughter that she may not learn what you are teaching her.

Post # 86
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Sunshine8, I’m definitely not trying to batter you, but like many of the other posters, I read through your previous posts, and this one particular one scares me:

“He’s been extra complimentary and lovey so I hesitantly gave him another chance only to be really let down tonight. It’s my daughter’s bday and she has a friend over. They wanted to watch a movie on the big screen TV we have downstairs. My SO told her “NO” she couldn’t watch TV down there because HIS son(who’s 21) would be home soon.”

Are you 100% sure you want to marry him?  This is so mean to your daughter.  He wouldn’t let her watch a movie while she had a friend over on her birthday?  =(

As for the prenup, I think it’s reasonable and a good idea.  Should divorce happen, do you really want to spend $10,000– possibly more– in attorneys fees battling it out in court?  Because if you don’t sign the pre-nup, and he marries you, and then you divorce, I would bet you a million dollars that he will drag you into court over that house and make you fight to the end.  Maybe even take it all the way to trial, racking up fees and expenses.  Do you have any assets that you want to keep in your name as well?  Then you would feel like you are getting something out of it, too.  I think you should talk to an attorney no matter what. 

Best of luck… I hope for the best for you and your daughter. 

Post # 88
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@sunshine8:  Sorry but she is just telling it as she sees it….as well as the majority of the bees have said it too.  You just choose to listen to only what you want to hear.

Post # 89
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@sunshine8:  honey, if I thought for one millisecond that you’d actually take some of the advice all these people here are taking the time and energy to give you, I would bend over backwards to help you.  You don’t though.  You just start thread after thread about how horrible he is, how dysfunctional your relationship is and how you don’t know why you’re with him, then steadfastly ignore any and all opinions you don’t agree with, only responding to the few and far between posts that actually agree with you.  It’s like the person who complains non-stop about the blaring headache they have day in and day out, yet refuses to take an asprin.

It’s frustrating.

Hint: if 90% of the posters here are telling you you’re making a mistake, maybe you should listen.   

Post # 90
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

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@lezlers: I 100% agree with your last post. It’s like the friend who comes to you for the same damn thing over and over. And you give your advice until finally you realize it’s just a waste of breath. 

OP, I am sorry that you are not getting the answers you were looking for, but with all your other threads, it’s just so sad that you are continuing to let someone keep you miserable. Life is way too short to spend it depressed. You should be with someone who builds you up and doesn’t bring you down.

Post # 91
Member
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

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@missfireslayer: I 100% agree with your last post…

I am on a ROLL today! My Maid/Matron of Honor was with this horrible guy for a couple of years and used to complain about him non-stop until my Fiance threatened to call him on the phone and dump him on her behalf.  It was pretty funny.  She finally cut the chord a couple months ago.  There were many relieved people.

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