(Closed) Prenup Advice……should I be angry he wants one????

posted 11 years ago in Legal
Post # 107
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Socrates:  she might’ve actually just made up that date, I hear you have to enter a date now when you sign up for the site.  You didn’t used to though, which is why some posters don’t have a date next to their names and others have totally random dates.

Post # 108
Member
1337 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@jayce: and 

View original reply
@lezlers: I wish there was a “like” button for your posts on this thread! (and on many others!)

Post # 109
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I just don’t understand- if divorce is not an option then what’s the problem with signing the prenup?? You just sound so focused on ‘getting something’ in the event of a divorce.

Post # 110
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Miss Pinup:  I just don’t understand- if divorce is not an option then what’s the problem with signing the prenup??

Ah, a question for the ages.  That’s what I want to ask everyone who uses the “I don’t believe in divorce!” excuse for not wanting a pre-up. 

Post # 111
Member
1019 posts
Bumble bee

@lezlers: I wanna ask why they don’t believe in divorce. Is that like not believing in G-d? Not believing in Santa Claus? It’s real, and it’s out there, folks!

Post # 112
Member
1374 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@MissHoneyBun: Oh I know.  And the 50% of couples that end up divorcing must have believed in divorce when they married, that’s really the only explanation. 

It’s easy to say you’d never do something or don’t believe in something when you’ve never been in the situation where that thing would be a viable option.  

Post # 113
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

no. he has a past and you are his future. this is just him knowing that life can sometimes take a hard turn, and from experience he is just covering his @#$. look at it like this….”you should always take care of yourself first!”

Post # 114
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

holy buckets….just-plain-sad! see i posted earlier about taking care of yourself first! well thats just what YOU have to do is to take care of YOURSELF first and foremost. then think about your future.

Post # 115
Member
447 posts
Helper bee

@lezlers:

Funny.  My cousin’s family had 4 children (he and his 3 siblings) and their family is fairly religious and i told him that even their family is not immune.  (When we were younger) I said “There are 4 of you and 2 of you will get divorced.”  He kept giving me “Not if you have the right mentality” nonsense. 

So far 2 still married, 1 divorce and 1 not married yet.  You just never know.

Post # 116
Member
447 posts
Helper bee

@lezlers:

My other comment was regarding your post to someone else.  As far as the date…we’ll see.  What you said makes sense.  That is far away…lol  20% (guessing) of the people on here will be married and divorced before that date comes.  lol

Post # 119
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@sunshine8: Maybe people got a little carried away, but I think it’s hard for people to restrain themselves when the sensible thing to do seems so obvious from an outside perspective. I know how hard it is to think objectively and to act in your (and your daughter’s) best interests when your heart is involved and invested in another person. However, you’ve also been very strong willed (and perhaps a little stubborn?) in believing that things are going to magically change between you and your SO. He’s shown you time and time again that he’s not only ungenerous but also afraid of commitment. The best thing, as hard as it may be, is to start a clean slate. Even if it may be hard for your daughter to move from her friends yet again, I think it will be better for her in the long run. She’s at a difficult age and she needs to have positive role models and a stable household. It sounds like in order to have a more stable home, you may need to uproot her just one more time (and then stay put!).

By The Way, I’ve stayed with men longer than I should have. In fact, I think most of the people here can say that they’ve been in at least one bad relationship longer than they should have. I can’t speak for everyone, but I think that’s one reason why I’m really pulling for you to get out. I don’t want anyone to have to waste more time on anyone than they have to, and I don’t think anyone should feel like their relationship is on the edge on a regular basis. If anything, a marriage should provide a sense of calm and stability. I think you and your daughter both deserve that.

Post # 120
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

@sunshine8:  There is no way I’m trying to batter or abuse you.  I think you get enough abuse at home unfortunately.  Yes he may not be a killer or physically violent, but you aren’t happy and he doesn’t seem concerned.  And the way he treated your daughter is atrocious.  Read through your previous posts.  Read what you wrote.

Listen to Jayce, and lezlers and the others!  This is sound advice.  You asked for it!  I don’t understand why you are ignoring these posts and replying to things you agree with.  These responses you ignore will haunt you when you’re older and feel even more trapped and are still being treated like you are.

I hope your daughter doesn’t learn that it’s okay for men to treat her like seconds or that it’s ok to run her around.  I’m sure you don’t want her to be unhappy or feeling like you do.  If you don’t do something to make sure that doesn’t happen then that means you have failed her and well as yourself. 🙁

I’m just being honest.  I think if you stepped outside of yourself and had an objective look in you’d see the same thing – but I don’t think you’re in a position to do that.  And to be honest – I don’t think you even want to.

Post # 121
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I don’t think anyone is trying to make you feel bad…I think we’re all just concerned for you and sad that you’re in this situation and it seems to keep getting worse 🙁

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