Prenup/alimony help

posted 1 year ago in Legal
Post # 2
Member
681 posts
Busy bee

Do you have to include the terms of your separation in a PRE nup? If I was doing a pre nup and the lawyer asked me that, I’d say that  I’d like to handle that by leaving it out completely. 

Post # 3
Member
8943 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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daisy123 :  “Do you have to include the terms of your separation in a PRE nup?” — That’s what a prenup is mainly for.

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nkamen616 :  I don’t have experience with this. Can you ask your lawyer for a recommendation or at least some options for how other people handle it?

Post # 4
Member
9406 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

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nkamen616 : your lawyers should be able to guide you on this. If they can’t/won’t you really need better lawyers.

Ask them what happens if you don’t specify anything (we didn’t in ours. We felt it’d really depend on what happens in or lives between marriage and when we split, if we ever do). Ask what they’d recommend and why. They should give you way better advice than strangers on the internet..

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
681 posts
Busy bee

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Daisy_Mae :  no, it is for protecting assets that existed pre-marriage. In my opinion, there is no need to hash out the terms of the separation before the marriage has even begun. 

Post # 6
Member
1515 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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daisy123 :  That’s not true. I mean of course you COULD have a prenup that only dealt with assets acquired pre-marriage, but there’s not that much point to those. They’d be redundant because usually the state’s family law statutes already say that assets acquired prior to marriage remain separate property. Also property acquired during marriage by Gift (e.g. parents write me a check only in my name, that is my separate property even though I’m married), Inheritance (again, assuming that it’s left in one spouse’s name only, then it’s that spouse’s separate property), or Devise (like inheritance but specifically real estate inheritance from a will), these three categories are still separate property even if acquired during marriage. 

Prenups are more useful for things like spousal support after marriage and for deciding how property acquired DURING marriage should be divided upon dissolution of the marriage.  In terms of prenups protecting assets acquired prior to marriage, that’s usually in terms of saying any appreciation to the asset that occurs during marriage will stay separate property, for example stock dividends or house value increases.  So it’s still about things that happen DURING marriage. 

Source I’m a lawyer but not your lawyer or OP’s lawyer and this isn’t legal advice etc. 

Post # 7
Member
681 posts
Busy bee

Ah ok. Makes sense where you are located I guess. That wouldn’t be enforceable where I am. Or at least, it would be very easy to contest and win. Division of marital assets is very cut-and-dry here.

ETA, sorry that went off track. I still say I would not include alimony / spousal support in a prenup at this stage because you have no idea what your financial situation will be in 5, 10, 15 years or so when you hypothetically divorce.

  

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camenae :  

Post # 8
Member
1515 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

OP the laws governing spousal support/alimony varies from state to state. Many states now have laws that are hostile to spousal support, like a lot of states put severe limitations on it like no alimony will be awarded unless recipient is disabled or only for 2-3 years or some such.  So you need to ask your lawyer what kind of spousal support arrangement is likely to hold up in court if it gets challenged later. Just because somebody signs a prenup doesn’t mean that they can’t challenge it later. 

Of course there’s no predicting what a judge is going to do about any specific clause in a prenup but you can ask your lawyer what kind of arrangements in their experience, or that they have seen from case law, has been challenged and upheld. 

Also if you haven’t already, get your own lawyer. It’s a conflict of interest if you and your fiancé have the same lawyer. 

Post # 9
Member
445 posts
Helper bee

In your case, I would keep the subject of alimony out altogether and (if it becomes necessary but hopefully never will) let the courts decide what is fair and equitable depending upon your circumstances at the time.  They will take all of that into consideration.  

In my case, we have a “no alimony” clause except if I become ill or otherwise involuntarily unemployed for more than x period of time, but our situation is totally different — second wedding, both professionals, beyond child bearing years, etc., so it makes sense for us. 

Good luck – never the most pleasant series of discussions, but it CAN be done lovingly and respectfully!

Post # 10
Member
47 posts
Newbee

I am an attorney and I would recommend you be really wary accepting advice via this website because the laws from state to state regarding prenups vary SO much. What works in some states and holds up may not in yours. Express your concerns to your lawyer and see how they guide you. 

Post # 11
Member
445 posts
Helper bee

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Flbride19 :  It sounds like they both have lawyers, so I don’t think she’s looking for legal advice here….just some creativity options.  Sometimes it helps to hear what others have done, and I’m sure their lawyers will guide them for state specific issues.  Good reminder though – legal and medical advice on the internet are generally worth what you pay for it! 😄

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