(Closed) Prenup Given to me With Less Than 3 Weeks!?

posted 11 years ago in Money
Post # 47
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@fontgoddess:I agree with what you said.

Knowing that he took the time to think, consulting a lawyer, draft this document, review it and handed a final copy for you to sign without ever discussing it together; and on top of that, on unfair terms… That would be my biggest problem.

I would not sign anything right now and address the relationship first. Why did he do that? Why no communication? Why would he not lookout for you in the agreement? If he wants to divide things like that now, when all is good between you two and he’s in love with you, how nasty could he become if you two were to split up?

I would try and figure out if, after something major like this, I still think I can spend my life with this man. If the answer is no, you dodged a bullet before the wedding. If the answer is yes, you can draft a post-nup after the wedding.

But I would definitely not sign this, and not even see a lawyer with this – I don’t think the content of the document is the major issue right now.

Post # 48
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

That really sucks that he did that.  If it actually did come down to actually using it, it may not actually stand up in court because it was signed too close to the wedding date (if you had sign/will eventually sign it or a version of it).  I was watching Suze Orman a few months ago, and she said you really need to do that stuff a year in advance to make sure that it would really hold up 100%.

Post # 49
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Have you gotten a clear answer from him about WHY he waited until so close to the wedding to drop this on you and WHY you weren’t involved in the process (especially if you’re involved in the business)?

Post # 50
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Dont have much to say except Im so sorry you are going through this. I cant even imagine what this must be like and I am sure you are feeling a lot of pain, confusion, distrust and betrayal. I hope that you have friends and family who are supporting you and helping you to come to terms with your situation. In the end, I hope that you and your soon to be husband are able to work through this, communicate and gain back the trust that has been broken by this. I wish you the best of luck in your marriage and I hope that this prenup never has to be used!!!! Also, maybe this is a hard time, but sometimes things like this open lines of communication for couples. Make sure you are honest with your FH so that he will be open with you.

Best wishes to you 🙂

Post # 51
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I can understand the desire for the pre-nup but the way he did it is so very wrong.  He just totally sprung it on you and that does not show any goodwill or good communication or respect. 

I would absolutely get to a lawyer immediately to hash this thing out.  Hopefully you guys can work it out and come to an understanding.

Good luck.


Post # 52
Member
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was going to mention a trust. DH and I were going to get a pre-nup to protect my parents’ assets, but it turns out, the way it’s set up (in a family trust, not with DH’s name on it), he cannot have a dime of it and a pre nup wasn’t even necessary. Maybe your FI’s parents should protect their own money in a better way and perhaps they didn’t realize this is an option. Going this route seems to be far less offensive when you’re talking parental finances. Aside from the “his’ business aspect–you put money in, you own it too chica.

Sorry he handled it so poorly! Good luck.

Post # 53
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: March 2011

My fiance and I are working on a prenup, and we have the same lawyer.  Unfortunately, we’ve been told that one of us has to get another lawyer because in some states, if only one lawyer is used to draw up the prenup and it is determined that one party was not represented while it was written, it can be deemed invalid.  I don’t know legalese, but that was how I understood it. 

 

Post # 54
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Update?

Post # 55
Member
264 posts
Helper bee

This was so cruel and thoughtless. 1 week to go, do you have an update?

Post # 56
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Yeah I’ve been wondering if you guys worked everything out or what happened.

Post # 57
Member
1397 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I would have dumped his ass without a thought unless he had a DAMN good explanation. Sorry you’re dealing with this. =/

Post # 58
Member
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Oh love. So so sorry he dropped it on you like that. Do update if you can.

Post # 59
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yes, please if you feel up to letting us know. Have been thinking about your situation 🙁

Post # 60
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m with the rest of the girls.  Its a shady and unexpected thing to be done to you.  Especially after such a long relationship.  It does sound calculated, though!!  Go straight to a lawyer and maybe a counsler too.  I would not sign over any part of the buisness.  If your money and time is going into it, and your name is on the buisness too, don’t give that away.

Post # 61
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I cant believe this!  All the stress of planning a wedding and getting all the details right and you have to waste time on something like this.

I cant decide how I feel about pre-nups in general, I guess if I was a celebrity marrying a “normal” person I would want one just to insure the person was not marrying me for my money.  But if my Fiance presented me with one, I would be devastated. 

Do you think his parents are forcing him to do it?  It kinda makes me think that his parents are behind it.  I would be very careful about this situation since you dont want to just sign it to get it checked off your giant to-do list and regret it later.  You want to make sure that you are provided for.  Getting your own lawyer will really help put things in perspective.  They will not be emotionally involved and they will know what is standard and when you are getting screwed.

Good Luck!

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