Post # 46
I am totally for a prenup if the situation calls for it. I laugh every time I hear/read someone say “we take our marriage seriously” or “divorce isn’t an option” and “if you are making an exit plan (ie:prenup) you shouldn’t get married”. I mean, seriously folks? No one I know goes into marriage intending to get divorced. EVERYONE likes to think that in the event they do get divorced that their spouse is not the vindictive type…I’m just saying from personal experience that when divorce/death/money are involved even the most “normal” people go crazy. I see it happen ALL the time.
My own parents divorced after close to 20 years together and my mom took my dad to the cleaners. While most of their assets were aquired after marriage, including my dad starting his own company, it was funded with his family money. Still, because their was no prenup my mom took total advantage. Thankfully, my dad was still ok after it – but it really makes you think. I would have NEVER considered my mom to be that kind of person and I’m sure when they were 25 my dad didn’t either. Live and learn.
I think when anyone enters into a marriage with considerable assets of their own, or the potential to inherit family money/property, a prenup should be a given – unless you are ok with flushing half your family’s money down the toilet in the event of a divorce.
Post # 47
I guess everyone just has different views based on their experiences. You had the experience with your mom, my dad hid his assets and left his wife of 20+ years and 4 kids with nothing.
I’m not saying they’re always an “exit strategy”, but I absolutely think the one his dad has in mind is. It’s patently not fair, it’s definitely easier (maybe not easy still, but easier) to get divorced when you know you’ll end up with not only the assets you had before, but the vast majority of anything acquired during the marriage. He had an ex wife take him to the cleaners and he’s taking it out on us. If I stay home as a wife and mother I should not get valued at nothing.
Post # 48
- Wedding: July 2012 - Muckenthaler Cultural Center
We signed a prenup! It states that we get to keep anything we had before our marriage and I get to keep our dog 🙂 In the state of CA, anything that you get while you’re married is community property. So, if you don’t get a prenup and end up getting divorced in CA your ex could get the Picaso that your great grandmother handed down to you for your 16th birthday.
Post # 49
I definitely understand the need for one in some situations and voted as such. Fiance and I don’t have any assets etc yet but we are closing on buying quite a large business 50/50 between us. We have not decided whether it is worth getting a pre-nup just to make it legally known that it is all 50/50. Everything we own, make, buy etc will be 50/50 so not sur eif it’s even worth it as that’s what the law will assume anyway.
Post # 51
We have one. It’s really not as big of a deal as people make it out to be. We make very similiar salaries. Our state’s (which we are unlikely to move from) laws are inline with our desires. In our case ours simply defines all of our property prior to marriage in case there are any title issues down the line.
Post # 52
Oh my word. A pre-nup is no more an “exit strategy” than a car insurance policy is permission to drive like a twat. Nobody enters a marriage already planning how they are getting out of it, and likening a pre-nup to a divorce recipe is just melodramatic. All a pre-nup does is sort out some financial details while everyone is still respectful and being friends. Think of it as an insurance policy against some lawyer taking a cut in the unlikely event that things don’t work out the way you want them to. I’ve got homeowners insurance and I don’t exactly expect my house to burn down, but I’d be an absolute idiot to not keep the insurance policy “just in case.”
Post # 53
My H and I have a prenup, we don’t think of it as an exit strategy at all. If we divorce, we have already discussed and arranged the division of assets. If there is no prenup, a judge gets to do that. We certainly don’t plan to divorce, or we wouldn’t have married – but we do realize that about half of marriages end in divorce, and we wanted to set up the terms of settlement.
Obviously you and your Fiance need to do what makes you both feel comfortable, and leave everyone else out of it! 🙂
Post # 53
I think divorce should be as inconvenient and expensive as possible. So no, I would never sign a prenup.
Post # 54
Personally, I am all for prenups. There are those who have ‘Assets’ prior to marriage, or those with large ‘Will’ that their parents leave to them, etc… They should be entitled to have prenups if they want. You married someone because you love them for who they are, NOT because of their wealth/money.
Of course nobody want a divorce, but who can tell the future right?… IF divorce one day happen, then both should go with what both came with and be done. Both worked hard for what both have, and nobody should take that away from you.
I don’t have a prenup in my marriage. It be ridiculously funny if me and my husband have one because we are just 2 people live in a cheap rent neighborhood area… We both are poor, we not dirt poor but for sure we are no where near the upper middle class. We don’t have any assets. We rent, we don’t even have a house… He is working 2 jobs until next year, so we can have enough money for a house down-payment and mortgage.
All my husband have is his big Van car, his clothes and his Saving account. Same with me, all I have is my car and my Saving account. If these count as assets, Lol!!… There no point of us sign a prenups when we both equally are poor.. I do support prenups though. Those who have ALOT of money prior stepping into a marriage, I think you should get a prenup to protect yourself.
Post # 55
why? Because inconvenience and expense will prevent it? I don’t get that mindset, if people aren’t happy and it’s not working why would someone stay?
Post # 56
- Wedding: A very pretty church.
We don’t have one yet and I don’t know that we will, but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if my Future In-Laws suggested it. His family is probably significantly more financially well off than mine, partly because my parents did divorce. I can understand that they would be annoyed if money they settled on him or that he inherits after we are married would become 50% mine if I decided to cut and run.
It’s a tricky situation for me, I don’t like prenups because I don’t like divorce, but my life experience has shown me that feeling that way lends no protection against it. I’ve seen divorce court take its toll on people I care about. From observation, promises you made to each other when you discussed divorce whilst still inlove mean fuck all. This includes agreements you had about providing for the education of you children or their healthcare. Remember that when people leave they often leave to join or create a new family, who become the primary focus of their concern…
Post # 58
That’s a rough topic in our house. I strongly feel we should have one and Fiance refuses. He owns a company and I’m not working now, but the career I’m moving towards with school and such is one that could potentially earn me a good salary. I think that prenups are seen as negative but can be so responsible and helpful if needed. it can help for emotion to not drive for a result in potentially messy situations.
Post # 59
Ive said it before and ill say it again. Usually the only people who have a problem with them are the ones bringing nothing in.
Post # 60
I’m not fussed either way, although I would prefer not to have one. that’s probably partly cultural because I am in Australia and where we are pre nups are often not upheld in courts anyway. I can see however, how they would be helpful. It’s kind of like insurance – you dont want to use it, but when you have to you’re very thankful for it (it’s the parachute you never knew you needed).