Post # 17
I don’t think it’s fair that you were okay with a proposal by the end of the year and now you’re considering pulling the rug out from under him by moving out. And to not even tell him? yikes? I wouldn’t want a birthday proposal…and I’m not sure who would. An engagement ring isn’t a birthday present, it’s a symbol of love and promise to accompany a proposal…for your birthday he wants to get you the cargo net you want, what’s the problem? At least push your “walk date” back to a date where he’d actually be breaking his word ie after the end of the year.
Post # 18
Girl… look at it this way: if he proposes on your birthday, that would be awesome. If he doesn’t that would still be good mainly because he would probably want to propose on a day that doesn’t have to be shared with anyone’s birthday. Maybe he would like to catch you completely off guard. Think about it, you get your net on your birthday and maybe in a month or two, you two go out to a womderful night and then he surprises you with a ring.
I know it would be tough to not think about it but try your very best to enjoy.
Today Mr. Browneyes and me (and our kids) are privately boating to a beautiful, off-shore, uninhabited island off the coast from where we live and I honestly think that it is an awesome day for a proposal. But I am almost 100% sure that he has no ring 🙁
Post # 19
I’m hoping for something by our thrid anniversary. I know, 3 years isn’t forever, but we both know we want to get married, and I’m ready to make that formal commitment. When it doesn’t happen, it feels like it’s not as important to him, although I know that’s not really the case
Post # 20
I know it’s August. I don’t expect it. I know he will before the end of the year. It’s just hard since this was my origional “enough is enough” date. And now it’s almost here and still nothing. I’m trying very hard to not think about it. Easier said than done. haha.
Thanks for the kind words. I’m not expecting it at all. So if he did do it, he’d catch me WAY off guard.
I wouldn’t say I’m “desperate about a proposal.” I also wasn’t planning on “leaving him” I was going to move out into my own place so he’d have a little more insentive instead of a getting the milk for free situation. I think it’s a little harsh to make these assumptions without knowing any background. In some cases 3 years isn’t that long. In our case, it’s plenty. We’ve lived together for over 3 years. We own a house togehter. We both want a September 2014 wedding. We both want kids before we’re 30. We are financially stable. There are plenty of reasons for us to get engaged soon. I don’t think I’m being unresonable.
I’m so sorry! That’s awful. I know my SO will do it before the end of the year. So I am very happy about that. I guess I post more complaints than good things. I should say that I do love him and am happy with him. Otherwise I wouldn’t be so upset about not moving things along faster! haha
Not now. Maybe I wasn’t clear. I WAS going to move out after my birthday if there was no forward movement. However, a few months ago he said it would be before the end of the year. I am going to wait till the end of the year before I do anything rash. And I don’t care so much about not getting a proposal on my birthday. I know for some Bees that it is a big no-no, but not for me.
Thank you! This is probably the best advice so far. I think if I can just keep my mind off it everything will be fine. I’m sure my birthday will be awesome no matter what.
Post # 21
My message in no way assumes you are leaving HIM. It says you are leaving. Period. And you moving out is indeed leaving. Therefore, the one assuming what I am trying to convey is you, not me. He said he would propose by the end of the year. I just think that one cannot impose one’s timeline on someone who might not be ready. If he were ready, he would have pulled the trigger. If he said “end of year” maybe he needs ’til then to feel ready. I am just giving my opinion. You mention you BOTH want kids before you are 30. Since he wants this too, I assume he knows this when coming up with a “end of the year” timeline.
Maybe the use of the word “desperate” was not the most appropriate one, but I truly did not mean it in as negative of a way as it might sound. Maybe impatient would have been more appropriate.
Also, in my opinion the whole “why buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free” mentality is a little old-fashioned. By buy a pork if you can get the sausage for free? It works both ways.