(Closed) Preparing for Disappointment

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
1460 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think it’s fair that you were okay with a proposal by the end of the year and now you’re considering pulling the rug out from under him by moving out. And to not even tell him? yikes? I wouldn’t want a birthday proposal…and I’m not sure who would. An engagement ring isn’t a birthday present, it’s a symbol of love and promise to accompany a proposal…for your birthday he wants to get you the cargo net you want, what’s the problem? At least push your “walk date” back to a date where he’d actually be breaking his word ie after the end of the year.

Post # 18
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Girl… look at it this way: if he proposes on your birthday, that would be awesome. If he doesn’t that would still be good mainly because he would probably want to propose on a day that doesn’t have to be shared with anyone’s birthday. Maybe he would like to catch you completely off guard. Think about it, you get your net on your birthday and maybe in a month or two, you two go out to a womderful night and then he surprises you with a ring.

I know it would be tough to not think about it but try your very best to enjoy. 

Today Mr. Browneyes and me (and our kids) are privately boating to a beautiful, off-shore, uninhabited island off the coast from where we live and I honestly think that it is an awesome day for a proposal. But I am almost 100% sure that he has no ring 🙁 

Be hopeful!

Post # 19
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m hoping for something by our thrid anniversary. I know, 3 years isn’t forever, but we both know we want to get married, and I’m ready to make that formal commitment. When it doesn’t happen, it feels like it’s not as important to him, although I know that’s not really the case

Post # 21
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

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@NotablySidedJP:  My message in no way assumes you are leaving HIM.  It says you are leaving. Period.  And you moving out is indeed leaving.  Therefore, the one assuming what I am trying to convey is you, not me.  He said he would propose by the end of the year.  I just think that one cannot impose one’s timeline on someone who might not be ready.  If he were ready, he would have pulled the trigger.  If he said “end of year” maybe he needs ’til then to feel ready.  I am just giving my opinion.  You mention you BOTH want kids before you are 30.  Since he wants this too, I assume he knows this when coming up with a “end of the year” timeline.  

Maybe the use of the word “desperate” was not the most appropriate one, but I truly did not mean it in as negative of a way as it might sound.  Maybe impatient would have been more appropriate. 

Also, in my opinion the whole “why buy the cow if you are getting the milk for free” mentality is a little old-fashioned.  By buy a pork if you can get the sausage for free?  It works both ways.  

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