Post # 46
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Patients aren’t dolls, they are actual people with real feelings that can experience genuine emotional trauma from shitty, uncaring doctors. Yes, every OBs goal is healthy baby and healthy mom, yet some seem to accomplish that goal without being condescending assholes, so there’s no excuse for the doctors that are jerks. You can be an effective doctor AND a decent human being at the same time.
Giving birth without medication is badass. This is not to poop on how anyone has given birth of course, but the whole “it doesn’t make you a hero and you won’t get a medal for it” is needlessly dismissive. I’m due in 3 weeks. My goal is to go unmedicated. I may feel two contractions, say “F that” and put the epidural in myself. But I’m 100% going to give myself a pat on the back if I’m able to go through the experience without any medication. At the end we all want mom and baby safe and happy, and people do need to be flexible in their plans, but being able to give birth without any meds gets an extra clap from me, and I’m impressed by those that can manage it. That doesn’t take anything away from anyone who brought their beautiful child into this world in any other way.
Post # 47
Agree with you. I’ve heard the “unmedicated births don’t get you a medal” line a thousand times. I get that it’s supposed to make moms trying for unmedicated births feel better if they aren’t able to manage it, but it dismisses the reasons a woman may have for wanting to try in the first place. I’m not doing it because I’m trying to win the Mommy Olympics – I have real, legitimate reasons for making that choice for both myself and my baby. But then again this is just one comment in a long line of many that I’ve received while pregnant that I put in the “shit I’m going to ignore” pile from other women who I’m sure think they sound well-meaning, LOL. (@catt This is in no way directed at you or trying to be catty, I get what you’re saying and totally respect that any way baby gets here is ok – my perspective is just the other side of that coin.)
I’ve also heard…
“Are you sure there aren’t two?”
“Are you sure you don’t have gestational diabetes?”
“You’re going to breastfeed, right? It’s best.”
“You have to stay stress-free, stress dries up milk, you know.” (These two gems were from my MIL)
“You should stop lifting weights while you’re pregnant, it’s dangerous.”
“Are you being active enough?”
“I hope you’re eating healthy.”
Post # 48
this is good advice, but also remember women need to be allowed space to be upset if they didn’t get the birth they wanted. My first was unmedicated, vaginal delivery but she was whisked away because her heart rate dropped and I missed out on delayed cord-cutting and immediate skin to skin. I was Overall pleased that I went natural and glad that baby girl was totally healthy, but still bummed I didn’t get those first snuggles. Cue my second baby and after pushing for a few hours he got stuck and I needed a c-section. I was SUPER pissed. Still am. I can be glad that we managed to get through it and we are both safe and healthy but, for me, a c-section was super defeating. My unmedicated vaginal birth was SO empowering and I felt like a bad ass. Despite having a longer and harder labor the second time I felt like birth happened to me, not like I made it happen. Plus I’m left with a scar that itches and is numb and nothing in my midsection feels quite right. Do I dwell on it daily? No. But if someone were to ask me I’m very upfront that I am not happy about the c-section.