Post # 1
I was wondering if I am overreacting about how rude this is.
DH’s best friend got married July 4th. DH was in the wedding. This is the friend’s 2nd wedding, 1st for the bride. DH was required to pay $200 for his tux (we are not in a high cost of living area, this was high for our area).
Anyway we gave a generous cash gift to the couple and just today received our thank you- A pre-printed card with a generic message on it and not even signed by the couple – just everything printed on it. I think this is so tacky and rude especially since they had a huge wedding and DH was in the wedding and they didn’t even do thank you notes to the bridal party or send a personal note on the back of the preprinted card?
Their wedding was about the same size as ours which I understand is a large wedding but I hand wrote all of our thank you notes and got them out within 3 weeks. It’s just what you do if you truly appreciate the generosity of your friends and family with their time and money.
Post # 2
Um yeah. I’d be giving some serious side eye and WTF.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle
I’m not sure what current day etiquette says about this, but I’d totally side eye an impersonal, generic printed thank you card.
“We didn’t care to take the time to figure out what you gave us, so here’s this blanket thank you instead!”
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2016 - The Wagar Farm B&B
I went to a wedding in March….still have yet to recieve a thank you. Went to one last year in October…no thank you note. I am beginning to think it is a lost art. At least you got something.
Post # 5
- Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church
Yeah, I’d be pretty insulted.
Post # 6
Wow. Keeping it classy there! I’m sure you aren’t the only one who got one that is a bit peeved at that.
Post # 7
Hahahaha… honestly to me that is basically the same as not sending a card at all (which has happened to me several times). People are so weird.
Post # 8
I HATE pre-printed thank you notes. They just seem like the bride and groom are dealing with the obligation of thank you’s without actually caring to acknowledge what someone has done for them. My DH’s cousin does pre-printed thank you’s for everything…wedding, kid’s birthdays, etc. and I eventually stopped giving gifts to them because I thought it was really rude. She also never has her kids open gifts at their birthday parties and didn’t open anything at her bridal or baby showers. Pisses me right off.
Post # 9
Yeah, I’d be annoyed. I have gotten thank you cards from about 50% of couples. It wouldn’t be as bad if they actually said thank you in person instead, but we usually don’t even get that either.
Post # 10
I’m guessing the delay was waiting for the photos, and then having the cards made.
It’s still so impersonal to not include a handwritten message. I’ve gotten a few pre-printed thank you notes, but they have also always included a little something personal written in. I cannot imagine sending them out like that.
Post # 11
When I went to order our thank you notes (customized with our wedding photo) I realized that they had a generic pre-printed message in them. Luckily I saw it in time and took it out. I would have been mortified if all of them had been printed with that tacky generic message. People were very generous to us and totally deserve handwritten notes.
Also, I have a friend who I have gotten a bridal shower gift, wedding gift and baby shower gift for and NEVER got a thank you note. I guess people just dont always send them anymore.
Post # 12
I’m with y’all on pre printed thank yous, however not opening gifts in front of guests is actually not odd or rude to me. In some circles/cultures it’s actually considered rude to open gifts in front of everyone.
Post # 13
I would rather not recieve a thank you card at all than to recieve a generic pre printed one.
Post # 14
Same thing happened to me, except it was closer to 6 months before I received the preprinted card… I was annoyed too! The wedding was out of town, so I took time off work, spent $$$ on a hotel for the weekend, helped decorate and clean up the hall, volunteered to take the first appointment at the salon (6 AM!), brought breakfast for all the bridesmaids, and got absolutely soaked taking pictures outside (in addition to raining, it was also about 40 degrees). I’d do it all again, because the bride is a good friend and I love her, it just stings a little bit to feel completely unacknowledged when I feel like I really went above and beyond for her day.
Post # 15
TBH, I think you’re overreacting about this. DH and I have never received a hand written thank you card-it’s customary to have thank you cards included in your photography package here, and like most of our friends, our photos weren’t even ready until 8 weeks after our wedding. Then, you’re adjusting to newlywed life, back to work, and we had 4,000 photos (literally) to sort through and pick 4 for our thank yous. Our wedding was last September and we couldn’t get them out until February. We attended very close family and a couple of friend weddings where DH was a groomsmen over the summer, and we haven’t even thought we’d receive a Thank You yet.
As a guest, I’d rather receive professionally done photo thank yous, they’re gorgeous. If you’re dealing with photo thank yous on all 4 sides of a card, is someone going to really write over them? We worded a thank you message that read something like “We greatly appreciate your love, support, and overwhelming generosity. We will never forget this incredibly special day or the memories you have shared with us. Thank you for being part of our own “Happily Ever After”!! Our photog printed in on an area over a photo that had some open area, and they were perfect. I think hand written thank yous are antiquated.