(Closed) Preprinted thank yous 12 weeks after wedding??!!!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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carolinabelle:  who says we didn’t thank anyone? And every single gift was cash, no actual boxed presents, fwiw, there’s no “thank you for our silver…” every single card would be the same thank you for your generous gift? Anyway, there are different norms in different areas and nobody I know or care about expects a hand written Thank You from any wedding. Showers yes… Weddings no 

Post # 32
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221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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MsYankee:  I would think it is a little tacky too. Then again, FH and I attended two weddings last year (one in July and one in December) that we flew across the U.S. for and gave generous cash gifts and still have not received a thank you note for either one. I would rather have the printed one then none at all, but I do find the printed one to be impersonal. 

I think that at least they realized that thank you notes were something they should do (albeit not the best way to do them), unlike the two couples whose weddings we attended last year. Just my .02. 

Post # 33
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307 posts
Helper bee

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WhatMaeBee:  If your professional picture takes up all the room, either write on the back or include a separate piece of paper. Not a big deal. . .

Post # 34
Member
3108 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My husband was the best man in a wedding two and a half years ago. We traveled out of state for the wedding, gave a nice gift etc etc. No thank you card. 

Post # 35
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee

I feel if a couple can’t take 5 minutes to write out a personal note, then maybe my gift wasn’t appreciated and just considered ‘expected’ and taken for granted. Maybe the baby shower or next gift giving event I’ll consider whether a gift is even appreciated enough for me to make the effort. Even if it’s for cash, how hard is it to write: 

Thank you so much (name) for spending the day with us.  We were excited to see you and especially appreciate that you had to make a trip for our special day.  Your thoughtful gift will allow us to (save for a down payment, pay off student loans, take a honeymoon, go get drunk… choose whatever phrase fits). Thank you so much for being part of our lives, lets get together soon and catch up more.    

The whole pre-printed thing?  Just , no, to a mass mailed non-personalized form.  If it’s a photo and can be quickly done (less than say 3 mos) fine.  Longer than 3 mos, please just write it on stock cards and sent it.    

Post # 36
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2793 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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PandaBurr:  Good point… 

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WhatMaeBee:  You said “if you have custom made Thank Yous that are full photos, would you actually write over the photo? I feel like that’s ruining something so perfect.”

How would you have this issue with a folded card thank you? Are pictures on all 4 sides? 

Post # 37
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1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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carolinabelle:  yes, its a folded Thank You card with photos on each side, so 4 pics with our message printed in white over part of a black and white photo. I’ll share pics of mine so you get the idea, these are totally standard among every bride I’ve ever known.

 

  • This reply was modified 6 years ago by WhatMaeBee.
  • This reply was modified 6 years ago by WhatMaeBee.
Post # 38
Member
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

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whitums:  In my culture it’s very rude to open gifts in front of everyone. Big no no.

Post # 39
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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WhatMaeBee:  I’ve received plenty of photo thank yous that have a photo on the front and a personal note on the back OR a folded card with a photo on the front and a note on the inside. 

If your guests made the effort to give a gift of any kind, it should be acknowledged graciously — not half-assed. 

ETA: I just saw your update with your “thank you” cards… Honestly, that really seems more vain than a normal photo thank you to me. Do you really think people want FOUR photos of you instead of one photo max and a personalized note? I guess we’ll agree to disagree on this one. 

Post # 41
Member
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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MsYankee:  I’ve always hand written other Thank You cards, I just feel wedding TY’s should be printed and professionally done-I think I equate it to turning in a hand written paper vs. a typed paper. Either way, I don’t care at all about receiving personalized thank yous for anything, I look forward to seeing pics from the wedding we went to. I’d never adjust a gift because I didn’t receive a thank you.

Post # 42
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1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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BeachBee1988:  Like I said-they are standard and are exactly what we’ve received for every 50k wedding we’ve ever been to, and we’re 30 & 34.

Post # 43
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1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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WhatMaeBee:  Interesting… DH and I have been to eight weddings this year alone and not a single one had a preprinted message on a thank you, much less FOUR images of the couple.

Maybe it is regional? I know that’s the catch all explanation on the Bee, but hey — i guess it could be. 

Post # 44
Member
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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BeachBee1988: We’ve been to about 9 in the last 15 months or so, and theyre all 4 photo cards. It must be regional, nobody bats an eye about thank yous here (NY)

Post # 45
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

another NYC bee and I have never seen cards like that either…. maybe a pic on the front but almost always hand written inside except for one couple

in the 20+ or so weddings I have been to only one couple used a pre-printed one (though it was a post card and they did at least sign each one with something like Love you! John and Sue Doe) but I wouldn’t be upset just a little side-eye about it (thinking yeah everyone hates doing them but its just what you do!)

I do have at least one wedding where we got no thank you at all (shower or wedding) so i guess you at least get some credit for trying in my book

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