Post # 1
hi, i was wondering if there are any thoughts about getting pressure from my fi for information about an upcoming bachelor party for my friend? so far as i know there are no plans for any stripper(s) or anything of the like. from my understanding the bachelor has told his fi about the times (friday day through sunday night – including travel times) and that’s all, nothing more. i’m concerned that i’d be telling my fi more than he did, and not that i don’t trust her to keep a secret, but i’d know that i told her, and it would likely bother me. i think i feel like i’d be betraying trust in general, by telling anything more, and i don’t see anything happening on this trip, so i don’t see a reason to betray that trust quite yet. however, i am getting significant pressure from her, escallating to crazy levels, and i undestand she’s worried, but there are some secrets that don’t just involve me. is it ok to give into her on this one since it somewhat involves her (since it involves me going)? but then i’d somewhat feel like i’m betraying, well, myself? thx
Post # 3
That puts you in an awkward position. I probably would just tell her you don’t know. That’s clearly between her and her FI and you don’t want to be in the middle.
Post # 4
@AlwaysSunny: Well too late for that.What now?
Post # 5
@jmultitalent: Is she freaking out about the general idea of a bachelor party?? or does she want to know exactly where you’ll be?? Why does it matter where you’ll be if she trusts you not to betray her…
Post # 6
I’m confused…why is it such a secret?
It sounds like she suspects strippers/hookers or something like that…
Post # 7
It seems like you should be able to tell her that it’s going to be a guy’s weekend, and let her know as much as you feel comfortable with. If she’s worried about what you’ll be doing, you should find ways to assure her that no matter what happens, she doesn’t have to worry about you! Let her know that it’s kind of like a surprise party, and it’s not fair if she’s the only wife/fi in on the surprise.
Post # 8
Your loyalty to your FI trumps your loyalty to your friend. When you’re engaged you should have no secrets. Tell her as much as she wants to know, on the condition that she doesn’t tell the bride or groom.