(Closed) Pressure… Help!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

This definitely sounds like something that should have been researched more in depth.

I am assuming your SO is your sponsor in the US. Is there any way you could change the visa to a work visa? I’m not 100% on the restrictions and requirements on US visas, but my best friends growing up were from Taiwan and were on student visas, and I think one of their aunts was here on a work visa.

As for marrying him… if you choose to go through with it but are worried about funds, why not do a quick civil ceremony? My husband and I were married in front of our fireplace next to our christmas tree. It was 50 dollars (in our state) for our wedding license, and it was 75 to have the Justice of the Peace come to our home. I’m sure it’s a lot cheaper if you go to the courthouse and have it done.

Post # 5
9114 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@SweetheartSarah:  I understand that. It really depends on what state you guys live in as to who might be able to sponsor you as an employer. You may not need a particular degree to be sponsored, but walking up to an employer and saying, “Hey, will you sponsor me?” is going to have a few raised eyebrows at you. Does he have any family with a casual business that could sponsor you?

I’m not really sure on the repurcussions on not getting married on a visa. I’d assume you’d just be deported back to Canada, but if you remained in the country for longer, I think you can be legally forbidden from re-entering the country for a certain amount of time. Not 100% on this, google does provide some evidence of both. [Google is showing me a 3 year ban if the terms of the visa are violated.]

I suppose you could always apply for citizenship, but I know that will definitely take longer than the 90 day visa will allow, and since the US does not recongnize dual citizenship, you’d need to revoke your Canadian citizen status (I think that’s how it still works. I may be wrong on this.)

Do some soul searching. If you love him, and want to marry him, what’s the hold up? I understand the finances, but there are some ways you may be able to get married and use the benefits of marriage to cut fianaces (combining cell phones, the cost of car insurance, etc.)

Living is expensive in most states in the US, so I feel you there.

So, as far as googling a solution, you’ll need to return to Canada until you’re ready and apply for the visa again. As far as I can tell, returning to Canada will not have any negative effects on you or your SO that would prevent you from reapplying again.

Post # 6
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hi – I’m sorry you are stuggling with this.  I guess I want to better understand why you are now hesitating?  Is there something going on in your relationship that is giving you cold feet?  How long have you two been together?  What needs to change in order for you to feel secure in going through with the marriage?

I assume you discussed your financial situation with your Fiance when you accepted and he knows you don’t have an income.  I don’t have a college degree either but I’ve found a good paying job.

I guess I am trying to get to the bottom of your change in heart…

Edit – I’m not sure about most other folks, but when I accepted my DH’s proposal it was because I was 100% sure I was going to marry him and was willing to do it at that very moment.

Post # 7
8669 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Would postponing effect your chances of getting the visa again in the future? Just something to consider/ask your immigration lawyer.


Post # 8
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I know a couple of people who didn’t get married within the time limit, thus having their visas revoked AND being unable to get approved from any further immigration applications. Might not be the case for everyone, might depend on the immigration officer reviewing your case, but it COULD happen. it could make everything in the future complicated. A lawyer might be able to help you in the future but it could get expensive. 

I don’t think you can get a work visa because those are really difficult to get; they only give a limited number per year and they’ve run out. The next round, I believe, will begin in April. And you will need to find an employer willing to sponsor you and in some level, be a competetive employee (meaning you’re worth spending all that money and time on, vs hiring a US resident/worker).

Citizenship will not be an option to you until a few years of being a permanent resident — which you will be if you fulfill the requirements of your current fiancee visa. 

I think you should see a lawyer who can advise you on the repercussions of maybe not getting married yet. That way, you know for sure what the future holds for you. If you love your SO and can see yourself having a future with him, don’t make any rash decisions without consulting an expert because you might not even have options in the future anymore, if you make certain decisions now. 

I’m sorry you’re going through this, must be tough. I hate feeling pressure to do anything and this is huge. However you really should’ve figured it out before starting the whole process, coz I’m not sure there’s much room for turning back now. 🙁 wishing you all the best!!!

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