Post # 1
So over the past eight years I just noticed that parents seems to put so much pressure on kids to exceed. When I was in high school I used to babysit my little cousins (not really for the money but more for something to do during the day) and while I babysat for them I noticed my aunt and uncle seem to put so much pressure on them, especailly the older one. Example it seemed that they shamed her into losing weight (she was a 5th or 4th grader at the time). To me that seems a little bit to much especially with body image issues today. Then over the past couple weeks I been kinda browsering her facebook and notice that it seems that they are pressuring her more to the point that she doesn’t seem good enough for her family.
My cousins aren’t the only ones I seen. I remeber when I was in grade school where some of my classmates would break down in tears because they didn’t recieve straight A’s. I also remeber instances in high school where one my friends felt ashame that they recieved an A- in a class. It just seems that some parents put to much pressure on their children. I mean I kinda get it but at the same time why not let the kid… I don’t know make their own pressures.
When I reflect on things growing up I am happy that my parents never put any real pressures on me. The pressures I recieved was because I placed them on myself to keep up with my peers and everyday I am grateful for that.
Post # 3
I think a lot of people just want their kids to be such great people and sometimes they just don’t know how else to express it, so it comes across as this daunting and relentless pressure.
– am the child of an overexpectant parent. I grew up thinking you had to do everything great. Preferably best, but at the very least very good. I spent years ashamed of the A’s and B’s I got in school because they weren’t all A’s. I felt like my Mom was ashamed too, my big brother (6 years my senior) was always so good at school and me, well, I have skills that don’t fall in line with getting straight A’s.
Do I appreciate the pressure? No, not really. But I don’t think I’d be the same person I am today without it. I had to fight against my Mom really hard to break the cycle and I learned a lot about myself in that process. And to be perfectly honest, I think that there would be things that I wouldn’t have done as well without the pressure. Sure, they push too hard sometimes. But I think all the parents that push too hard have good intentions. They want good for their kids, the best. Sometimes its too much (all the time maybe)
The unrelentless pressure is something I held against my Mom for a long long time and I am starting to come to terms with where she is coming from and why her actions did not really reflect her intentions to me. Its all misguided confusion. Its a desperate need to help your kids be all they can be and its daunting for them too!
I’m not saying anyone SHOULD pressure there kids like this of course. I will raise my kids very differently than I was raised but I like to remember that her heart is GOOD and its hard to hold such good intentions against someone.
Post # 4
I am yet another child of overzealous parents. And yes it has made me who I am today. But there is good and bad to that. I accomplish everything I set my mind to. I have excellent grades, internships and reviews.
The bad side is it has never afforded me the ability to fail. I always felt like I had failed them. The pressure to be perfect at everything led to me breaking down every exam period in my first year of university, and pursuing a degree I hated for two years just to keep my parents happy.
Despite all this, I truly have the best support system in the world. They are not easy on me, but by trying and struggling sometimes I got to learn that they really have my back. That is nice to know.
Post # 5
I know what you mean. My parents have been great, they tell me to do my best and I do alright. In 6th grade I wasn’t a music genius and I got a C- for that class, no big deal. It’s passing.
My friend however, gets a B+ and she’s almost in tears. Yes, her mom did ground her.
With this being said I don’t think this is necessarily something that’s just started to happen. Like in the 50’s there was pressure for girls to get married as soon as possible. Social media/ the dawn of the technological age just emphasizes it more with TV shows and facebook posts.
Post # 6
@tynakinnon: Very fitting posts. Today is results day in the UK. Teenagers will find out if they got into their uni of choice, if they managed to get their three (or more) A* grades
Post # 7
Exceedingly fitting! I have a very dear friend whose son will get his A Level results today. She’s lovely but has completely ridiculous expectations and has already said that the last 18 years will be a failure on her part if he doesn’t get straight A*s across the board.
He’s a bright and clever boy but if his results aren’t what she is pinning her hopes on, I fear that her expectations may have had an influence.
It’s great to want your children to do the best they can. But you can’t live your life through them and there comes a point when you need to respect this and let them follow their dreams. Even if these aren’t the dreams you’d dreamed up!