(Closed) Pressure to Have Kids?

posted 11 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 47
Member
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m in the same situation. My Mother-In-Law really wants her mother (my Fiance grandmother) to see our children. I understand that whole thing, but I’m only 24 and will be 24 when I get married. She doesn’t even want us waiting for the wedding, she wants them now. It’s gotten to the point where she has talked to everyone and their mom about how she wants us to have kids. And on top of that she has also told my Fiance (right infront of me mind you) that her should get me drunk, so he can “take advantage” of me. Now that’s just crossing the line. We both have told her that we are waiting until we are more stable in life. We still live with the parents. I’ve seen my best friend, raise her children while still living with the inlaws and its not great for her at all. I mean she’s an amazing mom but even she knows that they need to be on their own. Although, I’ll get pressure from her too. She wants our kids to play together and what not. I’d love that idea but I’m not ready and all this pressure is making me even more not ready. I want to do this on my own terms. Is that too much to ask? Sorry I guess I really need it to vent that out.

Post # 48
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

vfoster: Wow that is soooo extreme. Vent all you want!

I’m 25 right now and since my Fiance has 1 year of grad school left kids are definately not in the picture! I want to wait until I’m 30 so then we can enjoy just us two as a married couple. Also we love to travel and kids would tie us down.  I think alot of family who push having kids forget that kids are expensive!!! Get financially sound first. My parents waited until their 30’s and they were able to provide great lives for my sister and I, and we were by no means wealthy…my parents are teachers!

Post # 49
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

A lot of people I know from high school (and even college) are already having kids, and I know that babies are so not for me yet!  The thought of having a kid right now horrifies me!  Earlier on in our relationship, we got some remarks from his parents about having kids soon, but thankfully they stopped that.  However, we still get a lot of remarks like “kids are SO rewarding, you’d regret not having them” whenever we sound ambivalent about having kids someday.  I think a lot of people equate marriage and children, but that traditional archetype does not always apply.  In fact, we’re not sure we ever want children, and I really wish people would be more accepting of that.  Oh well….

I’m currently 23, and I would really want to be in my late twenties/early thirties if and when I have kids.  I have a lot of school ahead of me, and I’m also just not ready for that kind of responsibility.  My dog is about as much as I can handle at this point! 

Post # 50
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh yes, but I just tell them between our 4 cats, two reef tanks, two poison dart frogs, 12 bullfrogs, and my Fiance I have my fill of being mommy.

Someday we will try for kids….but not in the next 5 years. We are 25 and 29.

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