- 4 years ago
I’m new to the boards and would like some advice on a recent issue in my planning. The wedding is in July, and invitations were sent back in January. At that time, I did not invite one of my cousins. She’s related to me through her dad, but has had no relationship with him or our family following her parents’ divorce when she was a kid. She basically had no contact with any of us for 20 or so years until she showed up relatively unannounced and pregnant last Thanksgiving.
Some of my family members are trying to include her more in gatherings (keep in mind that she had always been invited, but never came until now). My issue is that they are now trying to pressure me into inviting her to my wedding.
I don’t want to invite her for a few reasons:
1) I don’t know her. I’ve tried reaching out to her since we’re the same age, but she never responded. As I write this post, she still hasn’t responded to my last attempt to contact her in April after her baby was born.
2) If invited, I’m afraid she’ll bring her baby (we’re fine with older children at the wedding, but not babies) and her half-sister (not related to me) and/or her mother (doesn’t have a good relationship with the family after the divorce).
3) I have the feeling she is taking advantage of some of my family members (especially my grandmother). If they want to support her and her baby, fine. I don’t want anything to do with it.
4) Our guest list was intentionally small. We want an intimate ceremony and reception, and we weren’t able to invite some friends that we wanted to attend (I also didn’t invite some extended family of my own due to keeping the list down). It really bothers me that I’m getting pressure to invite this cousin at the (relatively) last minute because others want her to feel included.
My dad and sister are on my side, but I would like some advice on how to tactfully let my family know I don’t want to invite my cousin. I know there’s a chance she’ll show up anyway since she knows about the wedding, but I don’t want to formally invite her myself.