(Closed) pressure to tell the specs of your engagement ring? really rude?

posted 7 years ago in Rings
  • poll: was this girl rude in pressuring me for the details of my ring?

    yes, rude- I would have told her though

    yes- I would have told her to mind her own business

    yes- I would have pretended not to know the specs

    no, she wasnt being rude- but I wouldn't have told her

    no- she wasn't being rude- I happily share these details with everyone!

  • Post # 17
    1508 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would find that rude and just tell her I wasn’t sure on the specs. Might have pointed out the obvious – it’s diamond and white gold(in my case).


    If it was a good friend or family I wouldnt find it rude though  and would tell them- depending on how they asked, although I wouldnt expect friends/fam to be rude.


    ETA ** – one of my best friends just got engaged and I will ask her some of the specs(as she did to me). The ring is stunning and quite substantial so I am curious on the carat size, but i dont expect her to tell me the cost and frankly I dont care. =)


    Post # 18
    1258 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think it’s rude to ask the price and personally unless a diamond was really large..I wouldn’t ask what the carat weight was. I figure if someone wears a large diamond they assume people are going to ask about it.  The price is personal though.



    Post # 19
    151 posts
    Blushing bee

    Upon further thought, I think the best response would be “Well all the details I know for sure are: It’s 100% sparkly, A+ grade amazing, and as big as I can handle”

    Post # 20
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    @polly-pocket  I consider it rude, but mostly because of how she approached you about it. She did it at someone else’s party, bombarded you with questions and, when she didn’t get answers, she started gossiping with other girls.

    If she was a close friend or family member and was just excited for you or curious, then maybe that would have been ok. But, again, it would really depend on how the questions were asked.

    FWIW, if someone were to ask me I would just feign ignorance. Especially about the price. My Fiance makes decent money and was more than able to afford my ring. That doesn’t mean he wants anyone outside the two of us and the jeweler to know what he spent though. So, if asked, I would probably claim ignorance about everything except the cut of the diamonds and the fact that its sparkly. Lol!

    Post # 21
    754 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @polly-pocket  oh my. I almost put my foot in my mouth at work. I am sooo use to the bee and knowing how big etc.. I asked a girl to see her ring and wanted to know so bad how big it was… I almost asked and remembered that is soo rude! I was curious, not meant to be jugdy or anything negative just innocent but so glad I caught myself. Btw, before getting engaged I never thought anything of rings except ” that’s pretty”…. Now I’m thinking is it a real Diamond ? What color? carat? But truly curiosity and not comparing or anything mean.


    Post # 22
    2742 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Disney

    I find this rude. I dont share the stats of my ring outside my circle and here. People can guess. If they ask prices I say we got a rediculous deal and leave it at that.

    Post # 23
    429 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I have people ask me how much mine cost (um RUDE) I just pretend like I have no idea!! 

    Post # 24
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I think asking the price is rude but I don’t really see what is so bad about asking what metal/ specs etc. I guess it depends on the person and situation…. if someone was like oh my god that is amazing tell me more! vs someone that was like oh is that a promise ring? how cute

    Post # 25
    13384 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Really rude.  I would not have been rude in return, but I would make it clear that I was not interested in answering the question.  I would not lie and say I don’t know the specs if I did. 

    Post # 26
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    Uhm, RUDE.

    Does it matter??

    The only reason I think I’d let a friend try on my ring was if they were ring shopping themself and wanted to see how my particular style looked on their finger or something. Other than that it is just a really weird request to me…

    You can always say you don’t know the specs I suppose. Little white lie, but sometimes it is necessary

    Post # 27
    1220 posts
    Bumble bee

    @polly-pocket  I don’t think you’re being sensitive at all! I think the way she went around trying to find out your specs was a bit excessive and I can see why you would be put off. I am always curious about people’s specs too, but I don’t ask because I don’t want people to think I’m being nosey or anything since I’m not yet engaged.  If this happens to me, I’ll probably pretend I don’t know the specs, unless it’s a very close friend that asks. But I don’t really think anyone in my group is as interested in diamonds as I am, so I doubt anyone will ask!

    She was rude. End of story.

    Post # 28
    2664 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

    @polly-pocket  I think that’s ridiculous and rude. Normally I’m okay with people asking politely (after all, as a ring obsessed person, I wish I could just ask for specs all the time. I’m curious!), however, she’s ridiculous lol

    Post # 29
    13384 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I am a big fan of white lies when they are meant to avoid someone’s feelings.  In this case, if someone is rude enough to ask,  I would generally feel more than justified not to have to lie, white or any other color.  But in reality, it would probably also depend on who is doing the asking.  If the boss or someone like that asks, you might want to fall back on the white lie approach.  For most people, I’d say that I’m not comfortable discussing those  details or even “Pardon me?!”  

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