(Closed) Pressured to set the date.. oh and all the other questions.. jeeeezzzzz

posted 9 years ago in 30 Something
Post # 3
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

They never, ever, ever end. I don’t think it has much to do with doing things “backwards,” just that people are trying to make conversation or are nosy.

I put a pretty tight lockdown on wedding details and people seemed to respect that. When people would ask questions, I’d just say, “We’re working on all the details but I don’t want to say anything until it is set in stone. You’ll be one of the first to know once we have the details worked out!” And then change the topic to something about them.

Not spilling details constantly was a great decision for me during wedding planning. Things DO change, and if you give people 6 different plans as they develop, it just causes confusion and incorrect expectations. I’d suggest you ask your Fiance and close family to keep a lid on wedding plans, not go around telling people things. My policy was “SAY NOTHING!” I don’t regret it.

Post # 4
1759 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did things backwards, as well:

Met in ’01, baby in ’04, proposal in ’09, ‘separation’ (we moved apart, and called off the proposal, but we worked on our issues, and were still seeing each other), re-engaged in ’11, bought a house that summer, married in ’12… and hopefully another baby in ’13/’14…

… so I know ALLLLL about those questions.

Don’t feel pressured, though. Some people are just nosy.

Post # 5
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

We haven’t really done things backwards, we’ve just taken a long time.  I just turned 30, he’s 31 this June, we’ve been together 8.5 years.  I have friends who have met, married & divorced in the time we’ve been together.  We finally got engaged on March 24th and I’m SOOOO excited but I’m already sick of the when and where question.  It’s beyond annoying.  The first question everyone (except my sister) was – have you decided when yet?  


Seriously, i’ve been engaged 5 mintues?  Can I enjoy this, I’ve been waiting a long ass time for this ring (which is gorgeous).

Post # 6
22 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think it a a habit for people to ask and rush a date when there not planning the weeding. The same day I got engaged everyone  kept asking so when are we going to have the wedding. Like come on I just said yes. 


Post # 7
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I also know how this feels… You have done your relationship on your own terms, do your wedding the same way! Do not let others judgments or questions bother you, this is your life and your family! 

Set a long engagement people will want to know why so long.

Set a short engagement people will want to know why so soon.

In the end…it’s all about you and your family – no matter how “backwards” things may seem! Good luck!!!

Post # 8
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@zeniadb82:  You and me both!  lol Future Mother-In-Law asked when the date was when we told her I said yes – 20 mins after the proposal!  I was still in shock! 😉



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