- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
Almost nothing on the forums will directly impact the life of anyone else on here, but it would be a very dead forum if we only responded to things that we agreed with or impacted us directly
In that case, when you insult someone’s family I don’t think it should be expected that they will be kind in return.
Here’s my POV (first off shocked this hasn’t been closed by mods) if you ask for an opinion don’t get upset if they don’t agree with you! I didn’t read OP’s posts so this isn’t in reference to her.
If you post “Is this dress too poofy?” and someone says “yes it’s too poofy?” it’s just dumb to argue or state “well in person it looks less poofy,” “maybe different crinoline,” “well that’s your opinion, I kind of like it!” or some other poster comment on how mean the comment was, “it’s her (OP) choice”.
If you post “is a Monday afternoon wedding a good idea?” and someone commments, “yes, I wouldn’t be able to make that date/time, I think it’s rude…” OP then responds, “it’s all we can afford,” “most of our guests are in town anyway, “my mom thinks it’s a great idea to save money,” “this place is soooo much nicer than any other place in town….” It’s mind boggling how many posts should start with “Here’s my decision, only post of you 100% agree with me althought I am wording it as if it’s a question.”
Yes it’s the internet, but if you ask a question don’t be upset with the answer you recieve.
I haven’t read many other posts… At the end of the day, if you are worried about negative comments, why bother posting? We all cannot ALWAYS agree with each other. I am usually just grateful someone stopped by my post AND decided to comment. I usually thank folks for posting whether we agree or not. I often have formed an opinion about something one way or another, and I just wanted to hear different point of views anyway. I respond and keep it moving fot the most part. I have only seen one post that made me furious, and I had to tell the OP about herself. She was a self-absorbed ungrateful whiner in my opinion, and she had it coming.
@graste: I’m snarky. Sometimes I can be a real C word. The thing is, my responses are exactly the same on the internet as they would be in real life. I don’t put a special filter on for this site, nor do I take any down.
The thing is, we are all different. We make up a diverse group. In any diverse group, you have very different personalities. I’m certainly one that might offend sometimes, but such is life. People either love me or hate me. They do however, know I am always honest and upfront with my opinions and emotions.
I’m not a bad person for this. Hell, my disability might be a large part of my seemingly unique personality quirks. If you come to a message board and ask for an opinion, be prepared for people like me to answer. I’m not shitting rainbows, but I’m going to give you my honest opinion. It’s your choice how you take it. Either tell me to fuck off, or take it to heart.
Example: Someone asked about charity gifts as wedding favours, and I commented that I’d be cool with it as long as it wasn’t controversial… A cancer foundation or animal rescue would be ok for me.
And I got a bunch of comments about how this or that cancer society doesn’t donate to patient care or doesn’t use much of huge money for the actual charity or whatever. Well, I lost an immediate family member to cancer very recently. It’s still pretty raw. I just said those would be ok FOR ME. But those posters don’t know about that. I don’t know if they meant well or if they were just being know-it-alls. So I didn’t reply. It’s just easier and doesn’t end up going to hell.
And some people are just as bitchy in person and you’ll have to deal with that in life.
The worst people are ones who try to attack people based on what they know…but in a really passive aggressive way.
Or those who offend, seemingly purposefully, and then claim people are “upset that someone shared an opinion.” UGH.
But yeah…it’s the Internet. It’s in everyone’s best interests to not take things so seriously. Advice I should follow myself, actually.
@graste: I am surprised this isn’t closed already. If you ask a question to strangers on the internet, some people are going to give you honest answers. If you can’t handle the heat, then get out of the kitchen. Someone disagreeing with you doesn’t make them snarky or presumptuous, and it certainly doesn’t make them a “cyber bully.” (Man I wish I had seen that before you closed that other thread!)
OP, you may want to read this thread- it’s about another bee in a similar position about religious vow renewals after civil weddings. It’s not snarky, but people are honest, so be warned.
“I always find it so…interesting that people want to basically stand in a church and lie to their guests to make their marriage “real”. Newsflash: it is real, because you are legally married. If you get married civilly, you’re married.”
Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/civil-marriage-before-catholic-wedding-for-tax-purposes#ixzz2oGxaIaVw
Congrats on being a newlywed! It’s a happy exciting time that only happens once, so soak it in!
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