(Closed) Pretty disgusted with myself today

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Honey you can’t beat yourself up like that! If your boyfriend is willing to set a tentative date, it’s not crazy to just browse venues and things like that. If nothing else, it’s fun to fantasize about your dream wedding…not desperate!

And I completely agree with you about the wedding fairs being overwhelming…some girls get absolutely rabid about bridal stuff! Have fun looking at all the possibilities the way you want to and enjoy dreaming until your big day comes!

Post # 4
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Don’t beat yourself up. There is nothing wrong with looking into things, especially since you have discussed it. Maybe you should look into wedding stuff on the weekends and focus on your school work etc. on other days. That is what I did while waiting and it kept me from going nuts lol. But when the semester was over, that was all that I did lol. But my FH was okay with it and it has made wedding planning a tad bit easier because we know what we want.

Post # 5
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

oh many i know how you feel.

it’s so easy to get sucked up into the ‘i wish i was engaged so i could research and not feel bad about it’ phase.

my bf and i have discussed in depth what we’d like to do for our wedding (he’s surprisingly open), and needless to say that opened up a pit. i have so many sites saved on my computer it’s pathetic.

especially since your friend is probably knee deep in planning.

i can only agree with the other posts. there’s nothing really wrong with looking up so information. if anything it’ll make actually planning way less stressful right? as long as you don’t go booking a venue for years down the road like that one episode of friends…

Post # 6
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m going to be honest with you.  Do I care that you aren’t engaged and hear that you want to start wedding planning?  No.  It doesn’t matter one way or the other for me.  Also, if I was a vendor and I met a girl who was not yet engaged, I would treat her just the same as a bride to be because one day, that girl will be a bride to be and she may remember the vendor that she met with who was so helpful, etc.

Don’t feel weird at all for starting to wedding plan.  I wish I had before I got engaged.

Post # 7
Member
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh man – don’t feel bad. I had practically everything picked out before he proposed. To keep “sane” (loosely using that term, since planning a wedding before the engagement is on the horizon may not exactly qualify) I started up my search for venues. Then specific food options. And estimated costs based on number of guests.

But, I kept it all to myself, and when the proposal came I was excited to have all that research at my fingertips (although I waited a couple weeks to show him, so he didn’t realize I had such a head start!).

Post # 9
Member
2408 posts
Buzzing bee

definite yay.you simply need a breather.

and don’t worry, i have to be careful when i plan because i plan everything as if it’s happening next week and if i’m not careful, i’m prone to being disappointed when something doesn’t work out the way i hope. that said, i make allowances for myself: when i start to feel overwhelmed, i step aside and take a break. it’s a plus of researching before the engagement because i have infinite time out buttons. i can’t always take a break for however long when i actually have a wedding to plan and a deadline!

Post # 11
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m with the rest of the ladies – while there’s no harm in browsing around and looking into destinations you *might* be interested in, don’t get yourself into a tizzy! You can certainly start to make a list, but I’ll tell you one thing – even though I had started researching venues a long time before we got engaged (unbeknowst to ANYONE), I’m still feeling overwhelmed with all of my options. It helps to have place to start, but certainly be open once the moment comes upon you!

Post # 12
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just think, this whole process led to y’all picking out a date.  so don’t be too down on yourself. 

you’re not a fake.  nothing wrong with research and planning.  as far as the place you found that you liked that had ‘meh’ reviews-maybe their reviews will improve in the next few months. 

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