(Closed) Pretty sure my coworker asked me out …..

posted 8 years ago in Career
Post # 3
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yup. Always an awkward topic. Crushes exist in all environments and during all ages, however most people have the decency to keep it to themselves and not make the other person uncomfortable!…not this guy.

I don’t know what advice to give you since this crosses many lines – the most important being office ettiquette.

Good luck girl!

EDIT: I didn’t read that last part. This has happened to me but since then I learned to keep everything super professional with everyone, all the time. It’s hard because we’re people and friendship is important, but situations like these are always tough.

Post # 5
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

View original reply
@Mimoza:  Always an awkward topic. Crushes exist in all environments and during all ages, however most people have the decency to keep it to themselves and not make the other person uncomfortable!…not this guy.

Yep. Hey we’ve all had crushes on someone not so appropriate. But some things you just gotta keep to yourself. It sounds to me like he’s testing the waters with you. If I had my composure about me I think I would have said something like “Well that wouldn’t be appropriate! But next time I stop at Starbucks on my way to work I’ll bring you a coffee, how does that sound?” Or something like that. Be nonchalant but firm and unambiguous. Hopefully it was just a temporary lapse and he won’t make any more awkward overtures. 

No real stories to share…there have been a couple of instances in the past where I got the impression that a coworker was acting crushy towards me and I usually just tried to keep my distance, but these weren’t people I considered friends so it was easier. 

Post # 6
1029 posts
Bumble bee

My male co-workers always offer to buy me lunch and it always creeps me out. I don’t think they mean it as a come on, but I’ll politely decline, and they’ll hound me until I agree. Ick.

Post # 7
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ugh I know this feeling and to me the worst part is now you’re uncomfortable around someone you have to see on a daily basis. 

Whether the person is joking or is serious in my opinion it crosses work boundries and leads to an all around uncomfortable feeling for the person being pursued. 

Post # 8
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I was talking to a coworker about piercings and he said we should go get our nipples pierced – and he was serious.



Oh, and one time I gave a coworker a ride home to his gf’s house and when he saw that she wasn’t home, he tried to make a date with me.

Post # 9
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh man, that’s awkward. I’ve got a divorced, 40-something male coworker as well, but he’s my work husband. We always joke that we’re together, we carpool so we always say we’re starting rumors….but it’s two-sided bantering, so it’s okay. He actually requested that Fiance and I have a special “Ashley/Coworker’s name dance” at our wedding. 🙂

If I were you, I would still hang out with the coworker. If he brings it up again, say “You know, Bob, I really value our relationship. I also, however, value my relationship with SO, so I’d appreciate it if you stopped joking about this”. If he doesn’t stop, say something to HR.

Post # 10
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@pokie45:  That’s uncomfortable!

I had a male coworker that I used to cut up with several years ago when I was married to my ex. He knew I was married, and yet he’d ask me to lunch. Not like “hey, several of us are going to lunch, want to join” but more like “hey, let’s just the two of us go.” It was extremely uncomfortable. I hate how men mistake kindness and friendliness as “I want you to hit on me.”

Post # 11
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@Eglantine:  Yes! I would just laugh and say something like, “Well, I’m not sure my fiance would like that!” Treat it like he’s just joking and he’ll get the idea.

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