Post # 46
E Ring— $60
wedding ring 0$ (friend made another plain band)
so yeah. Very different. I wanted to celebrate with friends and family for a meaningful length of time (we had a three day wedding). I Don’t care in the slightest about gems, and I hate the stupid fake invented falsely priced monopoly of diamonds. Plain silver band and no regrets at all.
(Also dress 0$- made by a friend, no bachelorette, no engagement party, honeymoon 0$— combined it with a work trip)
And for the person who said men aren’t I to weddings- my husband was the one who wanted the wedding and he planned the whole thing soup to centerpieces. I just showed up—and we are 37 just like you.
Post # 47
my wedding is waaay more costly than any of the rings were/will be.
I kind of wish it weren’t that way, but I hope everyone has a wonderful and memorable time.
Yeah…If i had my way, we’d have an enormous barbeque picnic with everyone invited who wanted to come; it would be casual and just fun. Potluck, even. just a party to have connection and celebrate with people we love.
but I am not having my way. I am having two weddings and they’ve slowly grown to be more than I ever really wanted. I’m not a “wedding girl”… never was.
But, here I am. I need to accept it and enjoy it. I wouldn’t change my ring – not for anything! – and I’m happy with it for life. It was appraised at a price that i’m almost not comfortable wearing, so I do know I wouldn’t want something worth any more than this.
So…it’s all good. Just going to soak it in and enjoy the day, and let the money aspect go. 🙂
Post # 48
Our rings:wedding spending ratio was about 1:3. We had a fun but budget wedding. 🙂
Post # 49
shanny08 : We struggled with that, too, but my family was more the issue. Luckily my mom went to bat for us and explained to everyone who was butthurt that we are paying for this wedding ourselves and had to make some difficult decisions. Weddings really bring out people’s emotions, good and bad!
Post # 50
zzar45 : I believe the exact opposite. We spent around 16k on rings (engagement ring, my wedding band, and his wedding band). My ring is something that I wear every day. I admire it every day. It is a symbol of the beginning of our journey together, and it is something we worked hard for. Also, we plan on passing my ring down as an heirloom piece (2+ ct solitaire).
The wedding is only one day. To me, a wedding shouldn’t be about pleasing guests; it should be about the couple. My husband and I did a small wedding (22 people for <$700). Honestly, NO ONE will remember what they ate, what the flowers looked like, or what table they sat at, so why make it about someone else?
Post # 51
TheMrsTulip : Experiences and memories are more important to me than physical things.
“I believe the exact opposite”.
Good for you, I didn’t call out anyone else I just stated my opinion so I don’t see why this is directed at me.
Post # 52
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
TheMrsTulip : I quite often see people on here say that nobody remembers the details of the wedding, but I would have to respectfully disagree. I can certainly remember the food at all the weddings I’ve been too, and while I couldn’t give the exact details of the centrepieces, I could tell you the colours, themes, people I sat with, etc.
For me, we spent considerably more on the wedding than the rings. I picked a ring a liked which happened to be fairly inexpensive. I’m going to wear my ring always, but I’m also going to remember my wedding always. It was about us as a couple, but also about celebrating that with all the people we loved. That was more important to me than the ring.
I can completely understand the reasoning behind people who had different opinions, I’m not passing any judgement on anyone who thought the rings were more important, it’s just not a viewpoint I’d ever considered until reading the post!
Post # 53
zzar45 : I didn’t call you out at all. I simply hit the reply button to respectfully disagree. No need to get sassy just because we have differing opinions. ❤ It’s all good.
kittycatcat : I certainly don’t remember as much about weddings as you. I also celebrated my wedding with people I love, (probably) just a lot less people on a smaller budget.
What I have gotten out of this conversation is, while we all might have taken different routes to get there, we have all gotten to the same place of sentiment, memories, and fulfillment.
Post # 54
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
TheMrsTulip : Yep, and I will still always love my ring even though it cost a fraction of yours 🙂 You make a very good point, there are many paths to happiness, I’m glad we both found our own way there!
Post # 55
I’m one of those people who remembers so little about the weddings I’ve been to and I definitely never had the feeling that weddings were about the guests. That’s something I’ve never heard before I came to these boards. I’ve always thought it was to celebrate the couple and that the wedding was the couple’s vision to make them happy. Of the weddings I’ve attended, I can pretty much only remember where the venues were (and only for some of them)! I legit can’t remember a single meal, centerpiece, or decor element from any of them and I’m really racking my brain. I only remember back and think generally “that was a nice wedding.”
Post # 56
- Wedding: February 2018 - UK
pinkflamingos : I’m starting to think that maybe I’m a bit odd for remembering everything now! I’ve probably been to about 12 weddings in the last 10 years, and for every one I could tell you the food, the decor, the dress details, colour scheme, in most cases the aisle music and first dance song.
I’m going to have to ask this question to my friends later, I can’t be the only one!
The stupid thing is, my memory is generally pretty terrible, I’m starting to think it’s because my entire brain is stuffed with the details of other people’s weddings!
Post # 57
I think that plenty of people remember the details of weddings, and I certainly remember the details of my own wedding — so those details were important to me. Our wedding was definitely about our friends and loved ones. Not sure why anyone would have a wedding, invite people, and then insist that the wedding is “only about the couple.” And the fact that our wedding was only one day and X number of hours has no bearing on the value I place on it. My ring set cost about $10,000 and our wedding was around $60,000 for 80 guests. Wouldn’t change a thing.
Post # 58
My engagement ring was £500, about 650usd.
Our wedding will cost between £6.5 – 7k. So 8. 5 – 9k usd.
My ring is tiny, but large diamonds aren’t as common in the UK, but it was still on the cheaper side. But I didn’t want any other ring, I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it.
We haven’t bought our wedding rings yet but I can’t imagine spending more than about £300 on one, based on things I’ve seen. Yes it’s a sign of our commitment, but to me it’s only a sign. Our wedding is the day of making that commitment so to me it makes sense to spend more on the wedding, and even that is also on the low end for the UK.
Post # 59
I get both perspectives – I want the ring I wear every day, which is a symbol of our relationship, to be something I truly love. I doubt I’ll ever want to upgrade my ring. We also wanted to have a meaningful, beautiful, and fun experience for ourselves and our friends and family who were there to celebrate with us. I think we got the best of both, and I don’t feel like any of the wedding expenses would have been better used putting them into a more expensive ring, just because the wedding was a 1-day event. Those memories and photos mean so much to us! And people still tell us, nearly 2 years later, how much they enjoyed our wedding.
Rings were approximately $3k, wedding a little under $30k for 100 people. We paid for the rings and 1/3 of the wedding costs ourselves and my parents contributed the rest of the wedding budget. His parents paid for the welcome dinner and farewell brunch (we had our venue for 3 days).
Post # 60
kittycatcat : that’s so funny because I usually have a very good memory! It’s probably because I don’t particularly enjoy weddings. I’m not a wedding/party person and don’t particularly enjoy socializing in big groups.
Dont get me wrong, though, I want a nice wedding. But there’s no way I’m paying thousands of dollars for flowers that will live a few days. If that’s someone’s dream, I have no issue with that though. It’s just not for me. I’m going to do my very best to keep the costs down because all these little details people stress over don’t matter to me.