(Closed) Priest dilemna- How would you handle this?

posted 5 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LaTortuga:  I would just give a donation to the church.  At the parish I am getting married at, the church fee is $300 and the stipend is at your discresion.  If you feel that you do not want to donate money to the priests stipend, then don’t.

Post # 4
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My priest told me the diocese fee is $300 plus we had to pay $250 for a mandatory marriage prep course. I’d just pay it, get married, and never return. That’s my plan!

Post # 7
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

@LaTortuga:  I agree with the politics.  My fiance and I are trying to figure out how to raise our future children as Catholics while shielding them from the politics of the church.

Post # 9
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@LaTortuga:  I would tell the priest you don’t have the funds.  The Catholic Church can not deny the sacrament of marriage to anyone who wants it.  Explain to the priest that if he is going to be giving you a hard time, you will write to the archdiocese and they will hear about his poor treatment.

Post # 10
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Free? That sounds strange to me because most churches I’ve been to have some sort of a charge.  I know some churches don’t charge if the groom and/or bride are members there but from what I’ve seen most do.  Sorry to hear about your unexpected charge.

Post # 11
Member
776 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LaTortuga:  We don’t need the financial aid.. I’m just more annoyed that I had to spend $250 and 12 hours of my time for something that has been a complete and utter waste. Quote from one of my classes “Sometimes couples don’t always like the same things; she might like herbal tea, he might like cocaine.” Did I seriously PAY for this?

The politics turned me off at a really young age. My Fiance and I have more personal spiritual relationships and the Church model makes us feel more like bad people than it brings us closer to God. I’m doing this mostly for my mother. 

Post # 13
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

@LaTortuga:

I don’t blame you for being upset because you had no idea about this.  Maybe there was some sort of miscomunication, maybe someone forgot to mention it, or the priest might be a jerk.  I’m not saying you have no reason to be upset because you never saw this coming.

I’ve been to catholic churches before (and maybe they were all in the wrong) and there was still a charge for the use of the priest and/or church for weddings.  That’s all I was saying.

Post # 15
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Sorry, I hope I’m not too harsh but you will have a hard time finding an officiant who will marry you for less than $250, even if it’s just for the opening prayer and hearing your vows. It sounds like you expected his stipend + the cost of the church all together to be less than $250! Does that really swallow your entire budget for officiant AND your ceremony venue? It cost one of my good friends $200 to rent a park space for 3 hours (allowing for set-up) and that was before hiring an officiant.

How much are you spending on your dress, your flowers? to be honest, if your statement is true, I think you need to rework your budget. When you consider the costs to open up the building, run the electricity and the air conditioning for your event, $250 almost doesn’t allow them to break even! I’ve never seen a church that didn’t charge at least $100 for use of the space, unless the couple were in dire straits financially. Maybe he means $250 is the fee for the church?

PPs are correct that there is not a “going rate” for the sacrament, it is supposed to be whatever you can afford. If you truly are in poverty it should be free, but if you can donate, you should donate a good bit. It’s like going out to eat and not leaving a tip, or leaving a teeny tip. Legal but not in the best taste.

Our church related costs were a huge part of our budget but that was because we felt the sacrament was the most important part of getting married. I’m sorry if the priest was kind of a jerk about it but at the same time his perspective sounds more realistic to be honest.

The topic ‘Priest dilemna- How would you handle this?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors