(Closed) Priest threatened to cancel, based on marriage prep course

posted 4 years ago in Catholic
Post # 181
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

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ImTheBoss:  I think you made the right call OP!

I’m sure you’re going to have a beautiful wedding, and now you won’t have your wedding day tainted by this hostile misogynist.

Just because he’s a priest doesn’t mean he’s not an asshole. You don’t need that kind of negativity at your wedding. 

Hopefully this is the biggest hurdle you run into while wedding planning – I hope everything else goes smoothly!

Post # 182
Member
7028 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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ImTheBoss:  Good for you! You should have someone marrying you who supports you in this major life step.

Young brides often do catch some flack on the Bee when they come off as immature, insecure, etc. You do not. Best wishes for a beautiful wedding. 

Post # 183
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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ImTheBoss:  I’m glad you have support with your families! Why not look into using some of the space you already have for the reception? That may be cheaper than finding a whole new space entirely.

Post # 184
Member
2403 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

Many won’t like this, but I have heard of this happening many times. A friend of mine was told there was a ‘mixup’ in their church date for  the wedding, but it was solved by a donation from her Future Father-In-Law.

A whole other place, the wedding I was Maid/Matron of Honor in; the minister agreed to marry the couple, knowing they were living together. Then 2 weeks before the wedding, he tells them he can’t marry them because they are living together. The groom went for a meeting and did some tap dancing, and it was fixed.

They like the attention, I figure.

Post # 185
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

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ceebee05: So wait are you suggesting that because the OP doesn’t agree with the priest about allowing her mother-in-law to be daycare she’s damning her future children to eternal hellfire?

 

 

Post # 186
Member
3250 posts
Sugar bee

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Katie-Didnt:  Not at all. Just offering s different perspective that the priest could have had, as suggested by the “perhaps.” Since the priest has, or had, as the case may be, a relationship with the mother in law, there may something he sees that another might not. 

Post # 187
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’m surprised no one has brought this up yet, but why does your Fiance have trouble with “complicated” language?  The words introvert and extrovert are not complicated in the least.  They’re extremely common words in the English language.  

Is English not his first language perhaps?  That would make sense and I would totally understand that.  If that’s not the case, does he have some type of learning disability?  I’m really trying to figure out why the priest and/or facilitators thought you were so domineering, because it really doesn’t seem like you are.  But if your Fiance is mentally incapacitated at all, I can see why they might be concerned that he was being led down a path not necessarily of his choosing.  It’s a big deal in the Catholic church that both parties come to the marriage of their own free will.

I hope that wasn’t offensive, because that was NOT my intent.  I am merely trying to figure out what happened because it’s pretty baffling.

Post # 188
Member
11434 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Good news, OP, glad to hear it! Even your Mother-In-Law is on board, so I’m pretty sure this guy has some problems.

Post # 189
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

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Kikibear:  Maybe he’s just never heard them before. I used introvert in a discussion last week with SO and he had no idea what it or extrovert meant and he is quite bright and college educated. I think its a Mars vs Venus thing, women tend to be far more interested in figuring people out and self help.

Post # 190
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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Kikibear:  Obviously I can’t speak on OP’s behalf and it may be one of the things you mentioned but my Fiance is a 30 odd year old man who has no learning disabilities and was born and raised in the UK yet I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked me which is which with introvert and extrovert. He has 2 degrees yet doesnt know the difference between lend and borrow, just as I have to ask him the difference between affect and effect, some people just have these things. Especially in a situation where you feel like you’re being judged as they were, I sometimes get nervous and ask my Fiance for reassurance that I’ve got things right even though I’m probably the bossy one in our partnership! 

Good on you OP. At least now you can look forward to a judgement free wedding!

Post # 191
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Omg this is awful. I just want to say, one assertive woman to another … Screw his opinion of your relationship.  I’m not Catholic so I don’t believe church officials have a direct line to God, but in my opinion he is overstepping.  You should take your business elsewhere instead of having this hang over your head on your wedding.  More importantly, what does your Fiance say?

Post # 192
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Well I should probably read the rest of the thread before o comment!

You’ll be married before God regardless, and have a much less tense wedding ceremony.  I’m so happy for you that your family is on board.

Post # 193
Member
1635 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

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ImTheBoss:  Sounds like the best choice for the two of you! We were married by a close friend and it meant the world to use to have someone we knew trully cared about us and supported us. You just can’t be married by someone who is negative about the marriage. Good luck and congratulations!

Post # 194
Member
142 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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ImTheBoss:  So glad you did this. I just have no-words for his judgemental and frankly ridiculous behaviour. It’s frightening to think that this man is a large influence in so many lives. What’s more frightening is the amount of people who support him! 

Good on you for standing your ground!

Post # 195
Member
252 posts
Helper bee

From my experience everytime a priest has warned the potential married couple to prehaps postpone the wedding … they go through with getting married and live a miserable life or end up divorced

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