(Closed) priest troubles

posted 10 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

That is frustrating ๐Ÿ™

What were you planning on having your guests do in the 60-90 minutes between the end of your ceremony and the cocktail hour? Could you extend that?

Post # 4
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

Absolutely Not!!! You are in the right and he is in the wrong. You can kindly suggest that you will move your wedding back to a later time so that he can do the other wedding first.  Tell him that you agreed upon 2:30pm and you expect him to honor his end of the bargain. If he won’t then tell him that he must find you another priest to perform atyour wedding.  Tell him you already have your wedding times set and they are not flexible to be moved earlier. If he will not comply do not hesitate to strongly express your dissapointment and I would also recomend writing a letter to the arch diosce after your wedding and make sure to CC him on that letter.

That is terribly rude and inconsiderate, especially to do this 2 months out from the wedding. I already had my invites printed by then!

Post # 5
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

Is this a family priest? Are you paying him?

 

Post # 6
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

That’s very rude of him to try and change the terms of your agreement just because he wants to get in another wedding. They should be the ones changing their time, not you! You should put your foot down about the time. Talk about guests not being there in time, not being able to revise your contracts with other vendors (even if that’s not technically true), making him see what an imposition this would be on you.

Needless to say, IF it happens that you just have to bite the bullet and move the wedding to 1 p.m., all will not be lost! I am having a 2.5 hour break between my ceremony (2-3 p.m.) and my reception (5:30). About 85% of my guests are coming from out of town. I have recommended that they hang out at their hotel (there’s swimming pools) or go shopping, or to wander around the little downtown area of the place where my reception is. There’s nothing I can do about it now and so I’m just trusting that they will find ways to entertain themselves. Your guests will too, no matter what happens.

Post # 7
Member
14 posts
Newbee

It will be ok.  Our reception is at 1 and the rehearsal isn’t until 5:30 with half the wedding coming in from out of town.  People will find stuff to do, its not your job to entertain them.

Post # 8
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Just keep in mind that while this is totally wrong of him to do to you at such a late date, he and the church are really not one of your "wedding vendors."  So threatening him isn’t going to do you much good.  If you can’t move your wedding up (I wouldn’t) ask him to help you find another priest that can perform the ceremony.  You’d much rather have someone dedicated to you and your day and not checking their watch to make sure they are somewhere else on time anyway.

 Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

He is not one of your "vendors" but as a man of God you would at the very least expect him to honor his word. Of course you can’t threaten him but that doesn’t mean that you can’t tell him how wrong you think this is. Have someone else perform it…. don’t even deal with this guy. He does not sound like a good person. Just find someone else…. but I do think you should write a letter to the parish and arch diocese. It is not polite behavior……

 

Post # 11
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

Isn’t there someone else in the parish that can marry you so that you don’t have to fly someone in?

Post # 12
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I agree with Taleja.  In most catholic ceremonies if you are having an afternoon ceremony and evening wedding you are going to have at least a 2 hour gap and most people understand this.  They can find things to do.  We actually have a 2 and 1/2 hour gap.

On another note I do think its quite rude that the priest is asking you to change your ceremony time this close to the date.  At most churches I think they make 2 ceremony times and whoever is first gets to pick.

Post # 13
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

yes – I was going to say, maybe you could have someone else do the officiating, maybe even the deacon (though I have no idea if he is legally allowed to do so) could do the full ceremony?  I was confused at first, but if its two different churches, then you shouldn’t have to change yours.  Thats completely unfair, and I am shocked that a priest of all people would have to nerve to do that – he must know the other couple better?  Unfortunately you do need to get on this, to get your invites out!  You should contact the church and ask if it was okay for someone else to perform the ceremony.  They should totally allow it, or at least be willing to work with you on it.  Maybe you could talk to someone else, and explain that everything else has already been planned, and its not an option to change it?

Post # 15
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

Elise – you will be more than fine and in two months you probably won’t even remember this! You will have a perfect ceremony! I am also (if it wasn’t obvious) having a catholic cermony and thus also having the gap. Perhaps that is why i feel so strongly that the priest shouldn’t move your time up. Definitely don’t worry about the gap though!! Good Luck!!! Put your pics up when its all said and done! ๐Ÿ™‚

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