(Closed) Priests comment bothered me..

posted 4 years ago in Catholic
Post # 2
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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alliegeeb :  I am not a religious person so I don’t know if I am missing some of the context, but to me yes that was rude and uncalled for. I don’t think someone’s ability to finish college correlates to how good of a parent they can become. I know plenty of people who didn’t go to college or had a rough upbringing and are great parents.

Post # 3
Member
10540 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

That comment would really both me as well! How incredibly rude. Going to college or finishing college has nothing to do with someone’s parenting abilities.

I’m not really familar with Catholic policies, so I don’t know what your options are though. I wouldn’t want someone who thought that comment was okay to be a part of my wedding.

Post # 4
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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alliegeeb :  Ouch! That seems harsh and uncalled for. I’m not catholic, but as a (non religious) outsider I can say that seems mean and I personally would not want to see this guy again, let alone have him officiate my wedding! Sorry bee 🙁

Post # 6
Member
3443 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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alliegeeb :  It was kind of rude for him to say so but having been brought up Catholic I’ve encountered a couple unnecessarily judgmental priests. Granted they seemed to have good intentions but the delivery was tactless. If he was warning you bc he genuinely thought your Fiance might not be a stable individual based on his current behavior thats one thing but he seems to be judging him based on an upbringing he had no control over which isn’t fair at all. I’m not sure if bringing this to your Fiance would cause more harm than good. :/ Tough situation.

Post # 8
Member
6135 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

The priest is just a person and not perfect.  What he said was uncalled for but I would just let it go. He doesn’t know your Fiance like you do. 

Post # 9
Member
13517 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Do you think there is any possible chance that your parents expressed concerns and asked him to say something like this? It just seems very strange coming from left field and with him having no evidence of the kind of person your Fiance is. 

I’d be turned off, too. Even if he was well intentioned, there were so many more constructive ways he could have handled that. 

Post # 11
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

Hmm, I am not Catholic, but I have been raised in the church and my father is a pastor.  I am not defending the priest in any way, but maybe he thought that he was providing sound counsel.  Yes, his comments were misguided as you can’t presume to know someone by simply listening to a quick summation of their life and then commenting or passing judgment.  However, I know some people who think that completing something such as a degree is a “sign of commitment” or shows that someone “has the ability to finish something that they start.”  It might also show that someone was simply having a good time and decided to hang out rather than jump into the real world. 

I don’t know what you can do so close to your wedding date.  If you can put it behind you then maybe showing him the love the you have for your Fiance might show him that these types of things in the past don’t define people forevermore.

Post # 12
Member
3327 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Wow! I can’t believe he’d say something like that. Its this sort of judgemental bullshit that pushes people away from religion. What an ass.

Post # 13
Member
11389 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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alliegeeb :    he’s got a point in that unstable unbringings can be a challenge, but isn’t that what Jesus did- love those who needed it the most. His judgment and condemnation are troubling. 

His comments about the degree are a wtf. Lots of people don’t have degrees. 

I think you should tell your Fiance. Wouldn’t you want him to tell you if the priest marrying you warned him about you? 

Post # 14
Member
631 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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alliegeeb :  Is it possible he was just trying to get a reaction to see how you feel?  Albeit it was done judgy and insppropriately, as someone who’s getting married in a Catholic Church herself, I know we had to take these marriage classes that asked some tough questions and got you to really think about every situation before getting married.  While they may have appeared judgy or one-sided, teh idea was to get everything out in the open, have these tough discussions and then move forward.

Post # 15
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

eek Im not practicing my religion but was baptised catholic. I think that is incredibly rude and uncalled for, just because he didnt finish college (yet) doesnt hold grounds to make him a bad father. My fiance had a bad upbringing, also made some mistakes in life but if a priest told me that, I wouldnt want him officianting our wedding. 

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