(Closed) Prioritising over engagement (and me)

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@blinx: Uh oh. You’re right to be upset, that is not an adult decision whatsoever. Did he even include you in this? It doesn’t sound like engagement is on his radar right now.

Post # 5
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Sounds like he’s not ready for engagement and might be using this to delay it.  So, the puppy is a symptom not the cause.  Regardless of that, however, puppies are major decisions that should be talked about and agreed upon together, considering you live together. I’d start there and move into how you don’t want to resent the puppy, but certain elements of how the puppy joined your lives have made you feel that way.  I explained to my SO the cat litter smell really sets me offand when he doesn’t clean it often enough (his cat), then it gets me frustrated with her, even though it’s not her fault.  Bad owner, not bad pet.  He gets it and has gotten better on that chore as a result.

In my opinion, you need a lot more communication going on – and moving out to get his attn is a knee jerk reaction that continues that trend. 

Post # 6
588 posts
Busy bee

sounds like he’s hoping the dog might have been a distraction from the engagement and it seems to have had the opposite effect…..

I agree. you guys need to talk more. does he know how very important it is to you to get engaged? maybe communicate that you aren’t just eager to have a ring. but its truly important to you. i know i had to have that convo….

Post # 7
3305 posts
Sugar bee

My guy did the same thing telling me we would get engaged AFTER we got a puppy. 2 years later we still don’t have that puppy but I DAMN SURE have my ring. Stick to your stance- I wouldn’t entertain getting a puppy without a ring- SORRY!

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