(Closed) Private Wedding, Help!

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
46672 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is not rude to have a small intimate ceremony then a larger reception. You can just explain that the ceremony venue is small and intimate and you are not able to accomodate everyone you would like to witness your vows.

Post # 4
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@MariahLynn:  that’s what we did.  We had 37 people total at our ceremony including ourselves and our pastor.  Our reception had 76 people.  We just let the people only invited to the reception know that the ceremony was private -only family.

Post # 5
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

It’s exactly what we are doing. We even addressed it on the invitations. The invitations are technically invites to the reception and where the reception info would be it reads, “A private ceremony immediately precedes reception”. Those noted to the ceremony receive a separate enclosure card with the ceremony information. 

Post # 6
Member
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ve seen that a LOT, especially around here! But I think there are some UK Bees that tell us that’s the norm there!

Post # 7
Member
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I don’t think that it is inherently rude, but I do think that it takes extra delicate diplomacy in order to implement. I think this works best if the ceremony is for immediate family only. Once you start getting into extended family, or choosing some friends, but not others, you run the high risk of slighting people.

Post # 8
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t think its rude at all! The other way around is rude (ceremony invite but no reception invite). I would just say we’re having a small family only ceremony. 

Post # 9
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Honestly, I have a friend that is doing this and I feel rather slighted. If she wants me to come celebrate the wedding, I am a little put out that I am not welcome there to actually witness the wedding. I know it gets done, but for me, I’d rather be invited to all or nothing.

Post # 11
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MariahLynn:  Many people choose to have a destination wedding and then host a local reception when they get home.  That would not be weird at all.

Post # 12
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The general “rule” about this is that a smaller ceremony is fine as long as it’s MUCH smaller, say 10%-ish.  So if you have 100 people at the reception, have 10 people at the ceremony.  That’s private.  Don’t have 35 people at the ceremony and 70 at the reception – that’s rude.  It’s not private at all to have HALF the guests at the ceremony and not the other half.  It would make me wonder why if I was a guest who didn’t get invited to the ceremony.

Post # 13
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We are doing this as well. I dont think it is rude and i think most people understand!

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