(Closed) Private wedding, just the two of you or only CLOSE family/friends?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3226 posts
Sugar bee

My wedding is in 5 days and I wanted a private just the two of us wedding and then felt bad so allowed immediate family…and the added aunts and uncles…and then added cousins…and then added his parents neighbors (we are having it at his parents’ house). I completely regret not putting my foot down and just taking the money the offered and running. I’m actually completely dreading this entire wedding and I am not even planning it. These things have a way of getting completely and totally out of control. 

Post # 4
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Stranger516:  Ours was very small, 13 including ourselves and the pastor and his wife. We had it at a park where some of Gone with the Wind was filmed and that only cost us $25 and involved nothing as far as decorating since that was not allowed, and then we went to a restaurant to eat afterward. The day was perfect and stressfree, the way a wedding should be!

 

Post # 6
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We had 3 guests at our courthouse wedding:  my mom, my daughter, and a young man (my daughter’s friend) who is like a son to me.  The ceremony was short and simple and then we had an elegant sit-down dinner at a nice restaurant, in their private dining room.  It was perfect!

Post # 7
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We went for a week long trip to a gorgeous, historic lakeside town in wine country.  We had amazing meals and incredible wine, took a champagne helicopter tour, indulged in spa treatments, and got married on the steps of a heritage courthouse.  We were alone, but a crowd gathered, and at the end of the ceremony we shared champagne from pink dixie cups with a handful of the HUNDRED or so people who had stopped to watch.

I had the fancy dress, bouquet etc… he was in his brand new suit, we were able to splurge on a high end photog because we married on a wednesday, the whole thing was magic, and utterly stress free.

The best part about a wedding like this is that you get to have whats important to you (gown? photog?) and skip whats not (second cousins? aisle runner?) etc…

Post # 10
Member
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Several of my cousins have done this. They go to the JOP and then a nice dinner after with just their parents and siblings. The key was that none of the rest of the family really knew what was happening until afterwards. Once you let people know you’re planning a wedding feelings start to get hurt. Well… I guess they might get hurt anyway, but it’s too late for them to do anything about it or guilt you into changing your mind.

My friend looked into getting married on a cruise, which seemed awesome to me. The packages were really inexpensive and there’s very little planning beyond what you’d normally do to go on vacation. 

Post # 11
Member
4419 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We had a destination wedding just the two of us in Savannah, Georgia, at a B&B.  My mom was really upset, but we’re both so glad we did it the way we did.  It was absolutely perfect, and we wouldn’t change a thing.  And, I tell you, my mom tried just about every trick in the book to push my guilt buttons to get me to change my mind.  I almost did, but like I said, I’m so glad I didn’t.

We did have a small reception 8 months later, and that was ideal too.  I got to wear my dress again, and I wasn’t all stressed from the wedding planning. It was all very relaxed. 

Post # 12
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Stranger516:  Those are the only things I had: dress, bouquet, him in a suit, rings,  and a photographer! All of that added up to about $1200. His parents paid for dinner, which I was not expecting but was happy to accept lol

Post # 13
Member
1444 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MissNoodles:  That sounds lovely!  We had the works, too:  Elegantly dressed, flowers for everyone, I had my hair and nails done, a photographer.  It was pretty stress free!

Post # 14
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Stranger516:  Have you considered a very intimate Destination Wedding with only immediate family and possibly your closest friends. You may regret not having anyone there and they might be very hurt. I do understand not wanting a big party, but I think there may be great alternatives other than only the two of you.

Post # 15
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Stranger516:  we are doing a venue with just thw two of us. we went through the exact thought process as you and your SO – not the attention needeing/wanting types. we ultimately felt that it was our day to just have each other. I went back and fourth on inviting our parents, but in the end, neither of us even wanted them there! 

I say do what makes you and your SO happy – not what everyone else wants/expects!

Post # 16
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I wanted just us and our daughter… Guilt won out and we had all four parents and a grandparent in attendance at the ceremony (plus grandmother’s boyfriend), and then two friends came for the dinner.

I’m fine with having done it this way, but if no one’s feelings would be hurt, I would have preferred just us. No one pressured us, but he’s an only child/grandchild and I know it meant the world to his grandma to be there so that helps me from feeling too annoyed :p

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