Post # 1
Well bees, I think the title pretty much sums up my thoughts..
On the upside SO keeps trying to encourage me to look into venues, you know start gathering ideas for what we want as a wedding and even look into the costs, who we want there and dates etc. I am extremely excited and can’t believe he wants me to do that!
On the downside.. I feel like I can’t actually do these things, and don’t stay excited about this, as.. well we are not even engaged yet.
Call me old fashioned, but I just want him to propose and have the e-ring he bought in front of me first before we do all that. It just doesn’t feel right to me to start planning things, especially when I can’t even share my enthusiasm with my friends or family yet.
I told SO my feelings on this – he was a bit sad as he thought I would be all 100% excited, and I was – but now I just think if I told anyone else they would think I am crazy.. ‘an unengaged lady planning her own wedding, on her own?!’
Anyone else in the same situation? I would love to know if you planned ahead the wedding before the proposal? Just wondered if this was more normal than I thought, and whether I should be seizing this opportunity with both hands!
I know that once he proposed I can think about this in the right mindset, but the fact he wants me to start planning.. surely that means I don’t have much longer to wait?
Anyway, thanks for taking the time all to read my ramblings! lol 🙂
Post # 3
@spaneshal: Yep! I am. My SO even bought me a DIY wedding book 😛 LOL I feel the same as you do, that it would not be right to start planning so much without a ring. I’ve gathered a bunch of ideas, but have not booked or called venues/vendors. He likes to hear about my ideas and for the mosth part we agree. I mean, as long as he’s given you the okay to start looking at ideas I don’t see anything wrong with that. 🙂 Hopefully there isn’t much longer of a wait left!!
Post # 4
I am sorry ladies, I hope they propse soon. I hated the waiting, it drove me to depression. On the bright side, your SO’s are interested in a wedding, Mine would not even talk about it. haha
Post # 5
@spaneshal: I would say you are getting engaged in the very near future! I would only look on here and browse the web… but I have not made any phone calls. We got the ring this weekend, so it is just a matter of time! I emailed one venue today…! ah! My mom kept telling me, two wks ago, that I could start planning! She was encouraging it. I am merely looking at prices for certain things since that will be a determining factor. I get in an out of planning moods.
Post # 6
I haven’t gone as far as to talk to vendors as I want to keep the excitiement when it happens. Lots of internet research though!
@Fallicious1012: If my mother knew how much research I had done or caught me planning in depth she would kill me 🙂 She always thinks I get ahead of myself.
Post # 7
@Novella: Haha, aww! I would never tell my friends, because that would be embarrassing, but I can say it here!! There is one venue I LOVE online, the location is perfect (actually we are planning to take engagement photos right by the place (restaurant/caterer) since it is by a beautiful pier where you can see the NYC skyline, with cobblestone and it is so beautiful!!!). My mother just told me last week that she will be gifting us a bit of money for the reception, which is a huge load off of our shoulders! I mean we will still have to pay for a huge chunk, but it makes me a little bit more at ease! Anyway, the price per plate will be a huge determining factor for the entire wedding. I believe this place is expensive, and just really want to know if it is, because I will either be having a smaller wedding, or getting the idea out of my head!!!
My mom is all ready for me to be married, I’m 26, and she was married at 19, had me at 23, and had my sister at 25. Crazy! Not that she wanted to me to follow in her path, but she just feels it is time, lol! I’m a planner.. when it comes to anything.. so sometimes I can’t help myself!! lol
Post # 8
Thanks ladies, I was certain I was going insane but you have reassured me! Theres no harm in researching, but I will hold off on any planning/booking until I am properly engaged – I guess any planning I do now will only be taking away all the fun rather than later when I am engaged anyway.
Hopefully.. not much longer to wait for all of us! 😀
Post # 9
@spaneshal: A few months before my Fiance proposed, he gave the okay to start saving for the wedding. So don’t take it as a bad thing.
Post # 10
Being engaged does not always mean that you have to have a ring. It can be defined by saying “lets plan a wedding” or it can be defined by a ring, or anything in between.
If you are in the “egaged but no ring yet” you are NOT insane about planning! Good luck
Post # 11
I didn’t plan before I was engaged because I was superstitious (and thought vendors would look down at my hand and see I’m not engaged), but I wish I had. I was soooo overwhelmed for the 4 months after our engagement. All anyone did was ask me where and when my wedding was…
I would say plan it and work on figures, locations, etc. I’m not sure I’d put down any deposits yet.
PS If he told me to plan a wedding, I’d tell him to get on one knee!