Proactive IVF

posted 2 years ago in TTC
Post # 16
Member
348 posts
Helper bee

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lucyinsky :  IVF is not a guarantee for a large gamily. As mrs2b70 said, there is no guarantee that you will get freezable embryos, that those embryos will survive a thaw, or that they will implant for a successful pregnancy. You could go through the emotional, physical, monetary mind%$# that is IVF for nothing. 

I do understand where you are coming from, but I really want to stress that IVF is not a guarantee. It does not even have a 50% success rate. 

Post # 17
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

You should definitely get a SA right away if there is some reason your husband may be infertile.  Then, talk to your doctor.  Actually, you should call an RE and get an appointment with them.  I did IVF for infertility.  I can’t really imagine doing multiple cycles not for infertility but to increase the odds of having 4 – 6 children but I think a fair amount of celebrities and people with the financial means do in fact do this to increase the odds of a pregnancy later in life.  I have no idea on the facts and figures of whether it would actually increase your odds.  Doing IVF resulted only in one baby and one extra embryo that may or may not work for me.  

Post # 18
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2461 posts
Buzzing bee

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lucyinsky :  There are quite a few things that can be tested before going to a specialist by a normal OBGYN or primary care physician. 4 months is NOTHING in the TTC world, although many assume it will happen quickly. We didn’t even start getting cycle bloodwork or anything done until 8 months of trying with the suspicion I had PCOS. And I had my husband get a sperm analysis a couple months later and then we made the appt with the RE after finding out about a “no sperm” result, and bloodwork that showed something wasn’t quite right on my end either. 

Let me start off by saying if your husband has a condition that can cause infertility I would get that checked out. And also have a sperm analysis done. All that should be able to be done without an RE. Can I ask what condition he has? 

The next thing I would do is get an HSG and cycle bloodwork done for yourself. This can also be done by your primary care doctor. 

Please do not go straight to IVF. Please do not see a specialist yet. Get some testing done beforehand and keep trying naturally. IVF is not a sure thing, and just because you can afford it doesn’t mean you should go right to it after 4 months. 

Post # 21
Member
2461 posts
Buzzing bee

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lucyinsky :  They couldn’t find anything to be the cause. He has non-obstructive azoospermia, meaning there is nothing in the way causing no sperm. It was one of the hardest things we have ever been through, but we decided to use donor sperm. I have PCOS and a bicornuate uterus also….and tomorrow will be my 6th IUI. If that doesn’t work then we will be moving to IVF. In no way do we want to go that route and I wish so much that IUI will work, but I have big doubts. 

He needs to have a sperm analysis and see a urologist if there are issues. They know what they’re doing and if anything can help whatever is going on. I would actually see if his stuff is okay before getting anything tested for you. 

Post # 23
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Based on your additional posts then I would make sure your husband goes for testing sooner rather than later. Having said that, assuming that pregnancy happens naturally for you, you could “easily” have four babies all two years apart and be done by the time you’re 42 or 43. I know that 35 is often touted as this massive drop off point for fertility but it really isn’t that drastic and lots of women have babies in their late thirties and early forties!

Post # 24
Member
9116 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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lucyinsky :  speaking from experience….IVF sucks. You’re talking about multiple daily injections leading up to the SURGERY to get your eggs plus then all of the hormones needed each time you put an embryo back in. My clinic does 10 weeks of daily intramuscular shots of progesterone in oil and let me tell you….my ass is killing me and I’m not even quite to week 7.  How does your husband feel about jerking off (dry, so as to not contaminate the sample!) in the hospital while you’re in surgery? Because my husband was not a huge fan but we had no other choice. 

I’m actually considered very lucky in terms of IVF because I had one retrieval and got 4 eggs. Of those we’ve had two successful transfers (our daughter and the kid cooking right now) and have 2 leftover. I know people that do multiple retrievals and transfers and don’t get a baby. 

I know you want to preserve your fertility but also….you might have one and then decide 4-6 isn’t really what you want and then you’ll have spent all that money for nothing. We originally were thinking 4 and now I’m pretty sure we’ll close up shop after number 2. This pregnancy is kicking my ass, I’m getting older (I’m 34) and I plan on breastfeeding for up to two years which means I wouldn’t be pregnant again until I was 37 or 38. It’s not for me. It’s best to take it one kid at a time. 

Post # 25
Member
348 posts
Helper bee

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lucyinsky :  You don’t know yet if your husband has Azoospermia – he hasn’t been tested for it or diagnosed with it. He has a condition where that is a risk, but it doesn’t mean that it is for certain. You are getting way ahead of yourself. The first step is to have him do a semen analysis – if there is something wrong, then you should go from there. 

 

Post # 28
Member
1702 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think you should go get your husband’s sperm checked right away.  Then you can decide where to go from there.  I have never had IVF but everyone I know who has had it found it very unpleasant.  Plus, it is very expensive.  That’s money you could be spending on your kids, if you don’t need IVF.  It also can be a long process.  If you don’t have fertility problems, you have quite a bit of time left to have kids naturally.

Post # 29
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Just wanted to pop in and say that you should seriously consider temping. I also had 28 day periods like clockwork but had a hard time getting pregnant. After I started temping, I realised that I ovulate on day 16 and had a shorter luteal phase. I know you are saying you feel when you ovulate but considering the drastic measures you’re prepared to take, taking your temperature every morning is a relatively painless one and could give you more insight into your body. 

Saving embryos now is the smart thing to do of course, but as others have said, know that IVF is a last chance, not a sure thing. 

Post # 30
Member
2461 posts
Buzzing bee

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lucyinsky :  well then it’s up to him to do his part at this point then. You can’t provide the sample so it’s up to him right now. And don’t get ahead of yourself in thinking he 100% has no sperm/azoospermia, but be aware that he may and keep your mind open. You won’t know until he has the analysis done. There is a surgery he can have done called a micro TESE that basically goes into his testes and looks for sperm that may not be able to get out. My husband and I decided not to do that as there were no obstructions and clomid did not help after 3 months of him taking it. For us it would have been $8,000-$15,000 (just for the surgery….not including IVF) out of pocket for no guarantee of them finding sperm in there. That being said, some people have had luck in finding sperm in there. We just decided mutually to go with donor from a sperm bank instead. But please don’t jump to IVF without first seeing if there is sperm there. IVF isn’t easy….fiancially or emotionally. It isn’t cheap. It isn’t something anyone typically wants to have to do. 

As far as the family thing…..no we are not using family for the sperm. My husbands side of the family doesn’t even know about us seeing a specialist for the last year, and because of family dynamics we aren’t willing to even ask his family to provide samples for us to have a child who is genetically connected. His brother is kind of an asshole and his mom is an alcoholic……both of which would bring it up all the time and his brother would majorly pick on him. We just didn’t want that and I left that part of the decision completely up to him. We did see a therapist who specializes in donor uses, and decided after our children know we can mention it to them vaguely but we don’t want our children to find out from them so until then they will not know about that. If we have to do IVF (if this cycle of IUI fails) then we will probably mention that we have been going to a specialist and other treatments haven’t helped and that we are doing IVF. My family knows everything. 

I also agree with the previous poster that you should seriously consider temping. You could be totally missing your ovulation day and have a shorter luteal phase. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is an excellent book to read, and I got it (in the US) for like $4 on eBay with free shipping. 

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