Post # 1
Okay I’m SUPER excited to start trying for a baby after my fiance and I get married this summer. ( We will probably wait a few months until we settle into our new apartment) However out of all the things pregnancy related, there is one thing that really makes me uncomfortable. I know after labor right after the baby comes out, I’ve seen doctors/nurses put the child right on the mothers chest without cleaning off anything etc. Blood, vernix, and all. I am terribly grossed out by it and as much as I wish I wasn’t, I am. :/ I’m not squeamish at all so it’s really weird to me that I feel this way but I can’t stand the though of them putting my child on me withought first giving him/her a bath or cleaning them up a little first. I know that most people have told me “you’ll be in the moment and you won’t care” but honestly, I really think that I may honestly throw up. It just grosses me out that much. Does this make me a bad future mom? How should I tell the doctor/nurse/staff about this? Are there any bee’s on here that requested their baby be cleaned up before holding him or her?
Any advice on how to deal with this/ not be so bothered by this will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.
Post # 3
@MrsPinkBONBON: I haven’t had any kids yet, so I might be wrong about this, but I have a feeling that the emotions of the moment – seeing your child for the first time – might override any ewww-ness that you think you’ll have. However if it’s something that really bothers you, maybe talk to the doctor when you get pregnant and see if you can request that your child be cleaned before being handed to you.
Post # 4
@dodgercpkl: Thanks for your advice. I’ll definitely keep that in mind. I just feel weird for actually feeling this way. It’s one of those things where you wish you felt differen’t but you dont. *sigh*
Post # 5
I’m not a mother, so I can’t say much about the “you’ll be in the moment & won’t care” part. However, from a different viewpoint….I’m in nursing school, and on my mother/baby clinical rotation I saw that after the first few mins of the newborn’s life they are taken back to the nursery to get their shots/eye ointment/baths. (I know that different hospitals may have different policies, so I’m speaking only on what I have seen) This took some time because before the newborn could have his first bath, his body temperature had to stabalize and be at or above 98 (if I remember correctly) degrees for a certain amount of time. One baby didn’t get back into the mother’s room until 45ish minutes later. Like I said, I’m not a mom, but I can’t imagine having to wait that long before I got to hold my child!
If you bring this concern up to you doctor or nurse, they might have some good suggestions to help you. I honestly don’t think this would qualify you as a bad future mom! 🙂
Post # 6
@MrsPinkBONBON: Don’t feel bad! I feel the same way when I see those scenes. I think if you bring it up with your doctor you can ask that the baby be wrapped in a blanket? I do believe that the clean up process can take some time, you might change your mind in the moment after all of that work.
Post # 7
You’re going to have a hospital gown on, and you can request that they lay a blanket or towel on your chest before laying the baby on you so you won’t be skin to skin unless you want it. And I’m pretty sure you *can* request the baby be cleaned up before you hold him/her.
Post # 8
I didn’t get to see my son for 45 minutes =( he had no pulse when he was born so they rushed him away.
I was sooo tired I really didn’t notice the bloody stuff and they drugged me pretty hard afterwards so that time period is fuzzy. However I know you have to push shortly after the baby arrives to remove the afterbirth and they stitched me and removed a few large blood clots the size of my fist (no lie) they even asked me if i’d like to see them… I was so out of it I actually did ask to see them. HA!
Post # 9
@laktolkr: Thank you so much for writing all that! It definitely made me feel better and get an understanding of why they don’t immediately clean them up. I had no idea the baby had to be a certain temp before they could get their first bath. Thats really interesting to me! I plan on being a nurse and as a matter of fact, I’m in pre-nursing at the moment. It sounds like you know quite a bit and your going to be an awesome nurse. Thank you again and I will make sure to talk to my doctors when that time comes!
@Everdeen: Glad to see I’m not all alone! I will definitely request that they wrap a blanket around him or her vs. just lying him/her right on me as soon as it’s born. Great idea.
@futuremrshc: Thanks! I’ll definitely consider the blanket option. I totally forgot about the hospital gown, I know it sounds silly but I was watching a Labor & Delivery show and for some reason most of the mothers on the show were shirtless? I’m not sure why they do that? Then right after birth they just brought the baby over and put it right on her chest. I know I don’t want my shirt off during birth to begin with but I guess maybe there is a reason for it. hmm.
@HappilyEverAfter54: Awww 🙁 I’m sorry to hear that….Wow really? thats a huge blood clot! I think I probably would have asked to see it too haha
I appreciate all the kind remarks/comments/advice. I was worried people were going to call me a horrible heartless future mom and that I shouldn’t be thinking of that stuff but it grosses me out and for the love of God I can’t figure out why! I am not grossed out by other peoples blood, guts, new born babies, or anything like that. I’m only uncomfortable when it has to do with me. Maybe I’m freaked out about my own body fluids. :O
Post # 10
I dunno, I am OCD, literally, I am DX’d with it. I am a SERIOUS germaphobe. Can’t touch doorknobs, sponges, trashcans, etc. But you know what? ALL of my babies have been on my chest within seconds of their birth. Their cord was even still pulsing. There is *nothing* that compares to the second you get to meet the person you’ve been sheltering and growing for months. My OCD didn’t stop the emotional tidal wave that rolled in 🙂
You may change your feelings in time. Or not. Either way, what you need is what you need and no one gets to tell you it’s wrong.
Post # 11
The hospital that my nephew was born in wiped the general funk off of him (not a total cleaing mind you) and gave him to my SIL immediately. They say it really helps the “bonding process” to be together first thing like that.
That could be total crap, but I don’t want to wait forever to hold my baby when I have one. I might just ask for a lil’ squeegee before he/she is laid on top of me. 😉
Post # 12
I am very squeamish with all things health related. For sure, first thing after telling the father will be going in to therapy. The idea of another person inside my body is beautiful and natural but I know I will freak out. Maybe that’ll be what you need also.
Post # 13
@shedayz: That makes me feel better. If you were able to overcome it when your child was born, I feel like I might be able too! At least I sure hope so. I don’t want to be the mother that shocks everyone in the delivery room when I throw up at the sight of my child… that would be REALLY bad.
@Mrs.tobe: I have heard that it does help with the bonding process for sure so I don’t doubt that at all. lol a squeegee! 🙂
@GreenDream: Thats a great idea! Thank you for the suggestion, I actually haven’t thought of that before and I think it would a great experience for my fiance and I as well.
I really just need to stop watching TLC because they show things like real labor and delivery and it facinates me! I love the human body so much, except when it comes to MY body. I get a little queezy. I know a couple days ago I saw a child come out and they were covered in vernix (cottage cheese looking stuff), blood, and all kinds of other goo and the mother just immediately began kissing it’s head.. That was tramatizing for me. All the power to her but I couldn’t stomach that at all :/ I just hope they are able to get the majority of the oogy off and I’ll be good to go.
Post # 14
@MrsPinkBONBON: Sometimes when you’re in labor any kind of clothing can feel restrictive. I personally, kept ripping my gown off..it felt very instinctual. I eventually had them staple it on because of all the people in the room. I was literally the only woman in labor at 4am, so EVERYONE on the floor was in my room. Seriously. My son was born to an audience of about 15 people. I joked “When’s the bus coming, I’m ready to go home!” because it felt like a damn bus station in there!
And really, bonding with your baby immediately is very important and you’ll have a strong instinctual desire to act like an angry bird when people try to take the baby. I saw my son for about two minutes and then he was gone for 4 HOURS in the nursery, it was horrible and five years later I am still mad about that.
Post # 15
I had a c-section. She was shown to me then weighed, washed and diapered.
Post # 16
I feel the EXACT same way!
My husband and I always joke that we want a “clean baby”. Meaning that we don’t want to hold it the second it comes out….we want them to wipe the baby off first. Now that I am pregnant though….I am starting to think that I will be so eager to meet him or her that I WILL want to hold it for a sec when it comes out
But you are in no way a bad person or a bad future mom. We are all different and my husband and I are ALWAYS talking about how we don’t wanna hold the baby until it’s “clean”
I just wouldn’t stress about it. There is nothing wrong about how you feel.