(Closed) Probably shouldn’t have said this…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I understand that you are feeling stagnant right now, but just think, those people that seem to be moving forward are mostly doing it in situations that you consider to be less than ideal. Be patient and things will happen the way you want them to! You will be more financially stable and secure in your careers. As for what you said to your man, it may have been a bit emotional, but in the end he should understand that you have big dreams and that the waiting game is a difficult one! Perhaps you could apologize for assuming something about him, but then explain to him your point of view. Sometimes talking out the real issue helps a lot! Good luck!

Post # 4
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

You’re jealous of people having a baby out of wedlock? 

Post # 6
Member
631 posts
Busy bee

Yeah, I understand.  Having a child out of wedlock is a terrible thing to do.  It may work out for the best, and it may turn out ok, but the best thing FOR CHILDREN is to be in a two-parent household where their parents have made a formal commitment to each other and to their children.  Just remember:  you want to build a relationship that is going to be husband and wife.  A lifetime commitment.  That’s a lot more secure than a “baby’s Daddy” or “baby’s Mommy” relationship.  So work on making your relationship strong, making a foundation for a lifetime commitment.  Do things in the right order, do them right.  In two, five, ten, twenty, and fifty years you’ll be happy you did.

Post # 7
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Whoa…. I don’t know if being a parent out of wedlock it just the end all be all of terrible things to do. There are plenty of happy couples out there who have started off that way and there are even more well rounded happy children that have come out of single parent homes.

But, back to the original post. I see where you are coming from, that it is like some people are rewarded for making brash decisions while you feel like because you are playing by the rules, you feel like you aren’t going anywhere. But just remember, if you have this strong basis that you are working on, chances are that you will be happier in the long run. Waiting sucks, there is no doubt about it, but doing what is right now will pay off in the end.

Post # 8
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2008

Wow @chicagowife, those are some really harsh words about unmarried partners having children.  There isn’t one single way to properly live a life.  Ouch!

Post # 9
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

trust me  these time are not th eold days having a baby doesnt make things secure.

Post # 10
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Sounds like you’re just frustrated and tired!! I bet there are people on this board that can relate. You aren’t being punished “for doing things right” (p.s. i don’t believe there really is a right way Smile), BUT you did chose a path that requires a lot of up front hard work with a BIG payoff in the end. The waiting game just sucks as usual!!

Post # 12
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

@frustratedbird. I don’t know about the other people you are comparing yourself to, but this couple at least seems to be in a horrible situation. Can you imagine how frustrating it must be to not be able to live together or support yourself financially, even without a baby in the picture? In that situation, a baby is an extra difficulty, not a “bundle of joy”, no matter how excited they seem to be about it now.

 

Post # 14
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I understand what you mean. It’s not the ideal situation and they are probably afraid and excited at the same time. I know how you feel about just being the girlfriend too.

I feel the same way!

 Don’t add turning 29 this year into the mix or I’ll go into another tail spin!LMAO

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

I know EXACTLY where your coming from. My man even talks about wedding stuff constantly which makes it even harder. Just know when your time comes you will be so much better off then most of those people you know.

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