(Closed) Problem MOH

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I do agree that breaking plans are bad form sometimes, but things happen. And I do understand that her lack of apologetic attitude is inconsiderate but really, I’m not sure what you can do about it now. Take someone else and have a blast! (Win me something!!) See how you feel about it in a few days before you make you decision on bridesmaids! Maybe find some time to go to lunch with her and make sure that she knows your expectations if you do decide to keep her in the wedding party.

Post # 4
Member
43 posts
Newbee

Family takes precidence over friends. If she really doesn’t see her mom that often, I don’t blame her. But could she possibly hang out with her mom before or after the expo and fit both things in? Regardless, I don’t think her not being able to go with you to the expo should any baring on your decision to make her Maid/Matron of Honor. Like you said, she’s busy. Unless she’s habitually flakey, too, I would say that’s not a good enough reason to exclude someone you care about from your wedding party. Invite someone else to the expo, and make other wedding related plans with her for another time. 

Post # 5
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@katiebee3: You probably should go with your Fiance or mom to bridal shows anyways. If I was someones Bridesmaid or Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor I wouldn’t want to go to a bridal expo with them, they aren’t that fun. She also gave you a weeks notice to find someone else, so I dont feel like she is blowing you off. I might be a tad disappointed but I wouldn’t demote her from being my future Maid/Matron of Honor, or exclude her to not even in the bridal party over it… If you have high expectations for your Maid/Matron of Honor and BM’s to be there every step of the way planning your wedding with(or for) you then don’t choose her though. IMO bridesmaids should be about more than what they can do for you.

Post # 6
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry other’s lives doe not stop around your wedding and I agree family comes before friends.  It sucks she can’t go but you both were rude about it.  I would if I were you take your Fiance as another PP suggested. This is a time for you and him to scope out venders.

Post # 7
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I’m sure she didnt intend for you to get hurt about this, and she probably forgot about the bridal expo. Also your wedding is not for a while, you have plenty of time to plan!

Post # 8
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You can easily plan a wedding without her coming to the Expo with you!

Post # 9
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You have been friends with this girl since the 3rd grade.  Has she always been like this? or has her attitude changed recently?  That might be a factor in my decision.  

I understand you are upset, I would be too.  One thing I cannot stand is someone breaking plans with me.  I used to have a best friend who did that all the time.  On the last occassion I totally rearranged my schedule last minute to accommodate her visit, then she didn’t even come.  She made plans with someone else last minute.  I haven’t talked to her since.  She never called to apologize, and I never called her either.  It’s sad, but I was tired of always being her back up friend.  

sometimes it takes things like a wedding or other life-changing events to see friends for who they really are.

If this was a rare occurrance with your friend, then i’d say not to worry about it.  You should both apologize for how you acted with each other and move on.

Post # 10
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Go with someone else to the expo.  I’m sure another friend or family member would love to go.  Your Maid/Matron of Honor sounds like she is working her butt off and she might not be able to do things at your beck and call.  But she will be standing up for you at your wedding because she is your best friend. That should be the only thing that matters. 

If she is that busy, she probably doesn’t see her family that much either.  You should be more understanding of that.  You sound like you are being a bit selfish about this. Life doesn’t stop happenig because you are getting married.

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