(Closed) problem with date of best man

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
150 posts
Blushing bee

I think this is a case by case issue.

In my case it’s not that I simply dislike him, he is horrible to my sister, he is not a spouse, and they are "off" every other week…for instance the situation with him attempting to cheat on my MOH/sister with another Bridesmaid or Best Man of mine, and yes he knows she is one of my best friends, how stupid can you be…so his presence at my wedding that I have been planning for a year and a half would be quite upsetting to me and very awkward for others as well. I honestly refuse to let someone ruin my day when it is easily solved by saying they are not invited. (this is something to be done tactfully, I’m not out to hurt feelings or make a scene, it will be handled far in advance, and *crossing fingers* she will be dating someone else by then!

Post # 18
4479 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

I’m surprised so many people are saying you can make this call, because if you value your relationships with your FI’s family at all, you can’t. You’re stuck. Try to avoid her for the evening if at all possible, but when you invite someone with a date you really can’t exclude people from the list in good taste, no matter how much you dislike them.

Post # 19
1732 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Unfortunately, if you gave him an "and guest" then you can’t dictate who that will be.  If you don’t want her there, you either cut his +1 or say exactly who he is to bring on the invite. 

If you give a generic "and guest," you give up control on who that is.  It’s out of your hands.

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