Post # 1
Everyone loves my Darling Husband, he is super funny and nice, always the life of the party. And I love spending time with him, we do everything together and it’s wonderful. But I still look forward to ‘girl time’ when I get to gab with my single and married girlfriends, as much as I love spending time with Darling Husband I need to get away.
The problem is, my friends, one in particular ALWAYS invites my Darling Husband to girls night out!! It is kind of annoying actually, because I’m not always consulted first, they just email him or run into him on the street (work near each other) and ask if he wants to come too. And yes, these are actually my friends, not friends I’ve made through Darling Husband.
While I feel fortunate that everyone loves my Darling Husband so much, enough to want him to attend GIRLS night.. How do I let them know I prefer girls nights to not include my Darling Husband without hurting their feelings? I’m starting to feel like I’m not good enough for them by myself..
ETA I have talked to my Darling Husband about this and he totally understands and turns down invitations out anyway, but it puts us both in an awkward situation since he doesn’t like saying “no” or making up an excuse.
Post # 3
@moderndaisy: Maybe just tell your Darling Husband how you feel? Have him politely turn them down.
Have you talked to him about it?
My FI’s friends always invite me to hang out with them, even when it’s just guys. Sometimes I go, and sometimes I turn down the invite so they can have their “guy time”.
I usually try to get a read from Fiance on whether I should come or let it be a guy thing.
Post # 4
I agree just talk to your husband. Let him know that you feel like you are losing girl time and you would appreciate it if he made up some excuse next time one of your friends invites him along. I can’t imagine he really enjoys attending anyway. My husband would never in a million years attend girls night with me.
Post # 5
@KatNYC2011: Yes I have talked to Darling Husband, but he feels bad turning them down so it’s awkward for everyone involved. I mean obviously we just come up with an excuse and he doesn’t go, but them asking him all the time makes us both feel bad for the lenghts we have to go to in order to not offend them.
@Moose1209: My Darling Husband actually has attended a couple dinners in the past (back before this was becoming a big problem) but only because he really wanted to go to the restaurante we were going to. In general he isn’t the least bit interested in girls night.
Post # 6
Yup, just talk to your husband and explain that while you love how well he gets along with your friends, it would be great if he could tactfully turn down their invitations sometimes so you can have a real girls night.
If you told the girls outright you’d rather they stop inviting Fiance, they’d probably read too much into it and that would likely make things awkward.
ETA: Your Fiance shouldn’t feel bad about turning them down. An invitation is never an obligation. All he needs to say is a lighthearted, “Nah, what do you ladies want a guy crashing your girls night for?”
Post # 7
I don’t think there is anything wrong with just bringing this up with your girlfriends. Just tell them what you told us. “So glad you love Darling Husband, I could really use a girls night though, can we plan one soon?” that way they know not to ask him.
I recently ran into the exact same issue, that’s how I handled it, and now we have girl nights AND nights with Fiance in tow. It’s a good balance.
Post # 8
I think you should tell them exactly what you told us: that you love the occasional girl’s night away from your husband and really want to spend quality time with them! Anyone who’s ever had a relationship would understand and not be offended 🙂
Post # 9
that’s really strange! since you and Darling Husband are on the same page, i’d talk to your friends individually when they invite him, or have your Darling Husband decline the invite by jokingly saying “oh, moderndaisy needs her girl-time” or something like that. they prob don’t realize they’re doing it, and just trying to be nice.
Post # 10
@ktisthatbees: That is EXACTLY what I have been doing though!! When we start planning it, I emphasize the fact that I want a girls night, away from the boys. Specifically to avoid this situation. Then when it gets closer it’s like they forget that I said that and just invite him if they see him or start talking about inviting the boys, etc.
@crayfish: You are 100% right that anyone who’s been in a serious relationship would understand, and to your point it’s actually my SINGLE friends who insist on inviting him every time! The married ones I think also want to have some girls-only time. And my single friends not only love my Darling Husband, but they probably think deep down that I want him there so they’re being nice.