(Closed) Problem with MOH – should I replace her?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Well it sounds like she may have already taken the first step. I think you two really need to sit down and have a heart to heart. Explain that you have been friends for a long time and that you would do anything for her (and have) but you are concerned about ther comment about not wanting to stand next to you at the wedding. Maybe this was her way of trying to step out gracefully.

Post # 4
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House

You really need to have a conversation with her about this.  Be honest and tell her what would make you most happy — mending your friendship, making sure she’s comfortable with the role (or not) that she’s playing in your wedding — and see if she’s willing to go along with what you decide you’d like…and hopefully, the conversation goes well and this will help ease your mind.  Good luck!

Post # 6
898 posts
Busy bee

I think it’s pretty rational to ask her to step down. Especially since you realize she’s not really a friend. 

If she trashes the house and doesn’t pay rent, you can always sue (I know it’s a headache and a crappy thing to have to do, but you have to look out for yourself). It’s a risk you have to take but it’s better than continuing to deal with the drama.

If your "replacement" feels second best, just be honest and tell her exactly what you said here, that you realized that you would drop this person as a friend anyways. I know if my friends said that to me, I would just feel honored that they thought that much more of me.

Post # 7
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010 - The Tower Club

I would say leave it be for now. She doesn’t seem to care whether she’s in your wedding, she treats you like crap, and you’ve been as polite and as accommodating as you can. The end of May will be here before you know it, try to avoid talking to her about "wedding stuff" (or anything else), until after she moves out.

Post # 8
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010 - Jewel Box in Forest Park and Windows on Washington

I definitely think you need to sit her down and talk about this.  The subject has been avoided for so long, that it just needs to be hashed out.  It may not end the way you want, but you’ll feel better.

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