- Mrs Hoot
- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I’m having a bit of a dilemma with a ‘family’ member. Do I want her at the wedding? Sorry it’s long!
Basically she’s my mum’s best friend but my mum passed away when I was 15 (8 years ago). She is a massive push over so her 13 year old daughter and husband treat her like total rubbish, and she is fine with that. Her daughter will abuse her in public (as in f*%k you, you’re a b*%ch, etc.) and she just tries to bribe her with horse riding lessons. She also allows her to wear the most revealing clothes, which I find really offensive on someone that age, low cut tops so everything is showing, tight short-shorts, even just a bikini top when we are no where near the beach. And her husband is a total pig. He treats her like crap, he’ll sit outside getting drunk then come in and yell at her to clean the house. Her way of justifying it is all men of that generation (he’s in his 50’s) act that way. Which I know is total rubbish. My sister stayed with her boyfriend for a few days. The boyfriend is from the middle east and a really nice guy but her husband was the most racist pig I’ve ever seen. He was calling him a camel f*%ker!! My mum’s best friend would just laugh it off. I found it humiliating that I was associated with someone that would act that way. This bit is gross but when we moved and had out housewarming he used our toilet and stunk the WHOLE house out. I mean everyone. I have a weak stomach so couldn’t go into the house for a couple of hours. Even people that have worked in nursing homes and hospitals ran out! Now whenever anyone brings up either of those days the first thing they do is comment on the smell! We are having our wedding at home and I don’t want my day to be ruined by him doing that again! I told him he wasn’t allowed to use my toilet like that after the first time. Might be worth pointing out he doesn’t have any problem that would mean he can’t hold on.
I have also found out my mum’s friend says stuff behind my back about me. For example the other day her daughter put on facebook all this stuff about mum and how she died. She barely knew her as she was only 3-4. It was only put there so people would give her attention. So I went off. I made her take everything down and told her she was never allowed to post stuff about my mother on there ever again (in a fairly loud voice!). She then told my sister that she thinks I have aspergus. Which I don’t! She is also trying to replace my mum with me. She tries to do their inside jokes with me.
To make matters worse I don’t speak to my dad. After mum died he went a bit crazy and I haven’t seen him in about 4 1/2 years. I don’t want to either. I want to move on with my life but she is insistant that everything will work out and totally ignores what I have to say. She is the sort of person that wants everything to be perfect when it just isn’t!
Basically I’m just over her behaviour. I told her I don’t want her daughter or husband at my wedding but I really don’t want her there either. I don’t think she really listened to me when I told her they weren’t invited because afterwards she was talking about how she won’t let her husband do that again and he won’t ruin my day. All I could think was I don’t want him there, period!!
My hubby-to-be is over it as well. He doesn’t want anything to do with them. He was totally horrified about how my sister’s boyfriend was being treated that he went from not wanting her to stay (another long story but all sorted now) to asking her to stay while she was over.
So what do I do? I think it will upset some of mum’s other friends but I can’t put up with it anymore. I’m sick of being treated like a kid. She doesn’t listen to me when I say things. I just don’t know what to do. I feel like my only options are to put up with all her rubbish or tell her I don’t want her around anymore. I mean she was mum’s friend not mine, but it’s a lot of history to just cut out.
Please give me some advise because I have no idea what to do! HELP!!!