(Closed) Problems with fathers and not mothers

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

My dad only drove me crazy for one thing- Photography. He thinks it’s a waste of money, a picture is a picture, just take your own. Luckily my mom told him he wasn’t allowed to have any imput on that!

Post # 4
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m in your boat…my Future Mother-In-Law is the least of my problems (she’s very passive, thankfully not agressive), but I’ve lost a ton of respect for my fiance’s father in the past few months. He gave my parents the runaround when it came to how much he was going to contribute to the wedding (my parents weren’t expecting anything except the rehesarsal dinner, but he dragged the process out for 2 months and wanted to know how much they wanted him to contribute, leading them to think that he was contributing a significant amount and then the amount he volunteered barely covers his guests), which deeply insulted them. Not the amount of money, more of the process. Additionally, he’s telling us what he does and doesn’t want in the wedding (it’s not his weddng, is it?), wants all of these bells and whistles that he’s not contributing to (and therefore isn’t getting any of it) and when I see him (thankfully he is 3+ hours away), he makes snide and snippy comments.

My fiancee knows how I feel and I do my best to act cordial, but at the end of the day he disrespected my parents, so that’s where I drew the line in the sand.

I’m sorry you are going through this! Just do your best to focus on you and your fiancee. That’s what really matters.

Post # 5
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes! We are having some father drama. My Future Father-In-Law has a picture in his head of how the wedding should go, which is different than our idea. He is really manipulative with getting his way. For instance – my Fiance and I wanted to get married in a natural clearing in the woods at our venue (which happens to be an old post and beam home where my Future Father-In-Law works). Getting married in the woods is very us. We are very natural people that are often outside and loving it. BUT my Future Father-In-Law knows that I’m petrified of snakes and proceeded to tell me that he has seen snakes there many times, because he wants our ceremony to take place on the lawn.  Later my Fiance told me that he has never seen a snake there and why his dad had said that. To say the least we are still getting married in the woods. Then, we wanted to do a really low key rehearsal dinner for our very small bridal party at the house, just making food and eating there. He then told us that the stove doesn’t work there because he wants to go out for rehearsal dinner. We checked and it does work. We are still going to go out because he obviously wants to and offered to pay but it is just annoying. I wish he would be honest and not lie and meddle to get his way.
He has also told us what my Fiance should wear, what flowers we should get, who we should invite (and we don’t even know them), when the ceremony should start, what we should serve… I could go on.

My side of the family has different father drama. My father and my mothers SO haven’t met yet, and my dad is being a child about meeting him. They have been divorced for over 10 years and he is still jealous of my moms SO. I really want them to meet sooner than later to avoid drama on wedding day and be able to include both of them on all wedding related events, but my father is just being a child about it!

Post # 7
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You aren’t being insensitive and disrespectful at all…in fact, you should the utmost respect by reducing your own guest list (people you actually know!) to accommodate his guests who you wouldn’t know if you passed them on the street.

If he wants to uninvite himself to prove a point, then that’s his perogative. You do what you need to do to have the best day of your life and not worry about negative energy.

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