- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
PLEASE HELP! Excuse the novel.. it is a long story..
I have been having major problems with my Maid/Matron of Honor almost since the beginning, and am considering revoking the title. Let me begin by telling my story. My best friend lives across the country so I figured I would choose a good friend who lived close to me to not put pressure on my best friend, first mistake. I went with proximity instead of my heart. Not that I expected a lot of help because I am a pretty independent girl, but I definitely would have liked some wedding chit chat, someone to come shopping with me, etc. And this friend of mine also happened to be my fiance’s first cousin so that worked in very nicely too.
SO something I knew before asking her that I never saw the warning signs of was that she is very controlling, manipulative and selfish, but I was always able to see through that because she was a good friend. Now, however, the drama begins. It began with her NEVER wanting to talk wedding, now I mean never, constantly changing the subject, not answering me or making plans etc. This threw me off because the day I asked her she cried and was so excited, even began a book for me (which she hasn’t touched since)..
Next, and here is the kicker. She has a 2 year old son, to which she is a single stay at home mother to, and to that I am very sympathetic and understand the challanges, so I approached the following topic very discreatly as to understand her situation. Me and my fiance recently decided to not have children at our wedding due to the number of children in our family (15+), and it is a relatively small wedding (70). When I told her the news she was so angry, she threatened to not come to the wedding, not be in the wedding party, and accused me of being selfish (even after I offered $100 to pay for the cost of the babysitter, and we would have 10 months to find a suitable one)
Since she is not comfortable with people other than her family taking care of the baby (which will all be at the wedding) we will have to find a babysitter for her (and she has had friends mind him before) which I TOTALLY understand.. but I feel this is an important occasion.
So yes, she flipped out, cancelled our plans for the next day and refused a phone call. I then texted that we needed a break and that I couldn’t stand/handle her bossy/selfish attitude. What do I do? She is a part of my future husbands immediate family who goes to all family functions. Do I un-MOH her? Un-friend her? Am I the one being selfish? Please I really need help. She has been ADDING stress to my day rather than taking away from it which is what she should be doing. I’d also like to add that my fiance has been very understanding and told me she has been this way as long as he can remember, and is fine with any decision I make.
Thanks for any and all comments/suggestions