Post # 1
I had to actually register for the site just to post this question, because it’s such a complicated issue! Even my wedding etiquette queen of a mother is throwing her hands up in despair.
My issue is that, like other posters, I have couples in my processional that don’t quite line up (as in, Best Man isn’t dating Maid/Matron of Honor, etc). After reading those posts, I decided it is far more important to me that the couples get to walk together, both for personal comfort and for picture purposes, even if it makes things a little more complicated for me! So I’d like to follow the advice of having the couples walk the aisle together and then just stand in the ‘correct’ place once they get to the front.
But here’s the rub — the officiant is my brother in law, married to my pregnant bridesmaid sister! So not only does this gum up the order (since the officiant should be one of the first to process), but it also means there’s an odd man out since one of the bridesmaids is walking with the officiant instead of a groomsman! So, my question is, which is weirder: having the Best Man, who is the odd man out, walk by himself as the last to enter before me, or having the Best Man walk with his wife most of the way up and then she takes a seat near the front since she isn’t in the bridal party?
I’m sure people might be momentarily confused and think she’s Maid/Matron of Honor since she’d be walking in last, with the Best Man, and wearing a different dress … but that perception would disappear quickly when she didn’t end up on the altar, so I’m not too terribly worried. And I’m quite certain my real Maid/Matron of Honor won’t mind — after all, she’ll be the one making a toast later!
What do you all think? If you were in the audience, what would look more bizarre to you? Keep in mind that I’m pretty dead-set on keeping the couples together 🙂
Post # 3
Maybe they should all walk on their own?
This would alleviate a lot of the order issues. I see it happen a lot more often these days and that’s what I’m doing because our bridal party is uneven.
Post # 4
Well my initial advice was going to be to split up the couples. We did and it was absolutely fine.
But since you are dead set on having them walk together what I would suggest is having the best man and the groom not walk down at all and just start at the front. OR not have the officiant walk in at all, (we didn’t), becuase he is not part of the wedding party.. Pair his wife up with someone else but keep the rest of the couples together.
Post # 5
i want to know the answer to this as i have a similar issue…
Post # 6
Our best man was married to bridesmaid, and they didn’t walk together, and it was no big deal. If you feel you *have* to have people walk with their person (but I don’t ususally see the officiant walk in at all,) I think it would be better for the best man to walk alone.
Post # 7
I honestly don’t see the need to pair couples together for processional/recessionals. Its a 30 second walk and most people expect to be processing with someone they don’t necessarily know during a wedding. I think you’re over-thinking this.
Post # 8
People are just fine walking by themselves. They’ve been doing it since they were 1 year old ;-).
Ultimately, it won’t matter what you choose. Nobody will notice, I promise. Those won’t be the pictures you enlarge to hang on your wall. Not worth the stress!
Post # 9
My personal opinion would be to split up the couples. I’ve never assumed bridal party pairings were an ‘item’ and I wouldn’t expect Darling Husband to walk with me, if I were part of a wedding party.
What about just having the guys walk in separate from the girls? You could have the groom and his guys enter from one side and then the girls come down the aisle separately.
The recessional would just be the wedding party paring up as they walk out (regardless if they are the ‘right’ pairing)….
BUT – to answer your question: if I were your guest, and saw people walking in and then sitting, I would think it was odd and wonder what part they were going to play. It wouldn’t be until the reception (and/or bothered to notice) and I saw the couples sitting together or spending time together that I would realize why you did what you did. But, all that wondering would be long gone once YOU appeared! 🙂
Post # 10
Okay. Umm. I think I can figure it out but can you give me examples of the couples, their positions, etc? Like:
And then any single people? Hahaha I think it would be easier if we had an idea of how many couples we’re trying to match up.
Post # 11
@futuremrsfitz18: i agree with you. i think it’s general knowledge that if you’re in a wedding, you’re probably going to be paired with someone you don’t know. that’s definitely the case in my wedding.
i don’t think your guests will care (or notice) if someone is walking with someone who isn’t their significant other. it’s a quick walk up/down the aisle; after that, each member of the bridal party has the rest of the day/night to be next to their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/whatever.
Post # 12
Our Best Man is married to the bridesmaid and the Groomsman is married to Maid/Matron of Honor…
We figured it won’t match anyways…so we just mixed the couples up.
I don’t think it will be a big problem have them walk down the aisle by themselves or with different people. I have seen both done at weddings.
Post # 13
Maybe it’s because I’ve never been in/been to a wedding with strong familial ties, but I’ve never seen this done and I really don’t think it’s a big deal. I would just line people up and have them walk down. Or have someone walk down on their own.
Post # 14
I have never been to a wedding where the best man walked down the aisle with his wife who wasnt in the wedding. To me that would be confusing. The wedding guests know ( or should know) the every one is just part of the wedding party and walking down with their “partner” of the moment. Usually programs are handed out prior to the ceremony to explain who is is in the bridal party so if you wanted to take an extra step you could state who is walking with who. That way there would be no confusion.
Good luck in your planning!!
Post # 15
I think it would be really cute to have all of the couples process together and then stand/sit in their assigned spot. I bet your friends would really appreciate this, especially the ones that aren’t included in your wedding party.
For my wedding, I had the guys stand in front and the girls walk on their own. I still managed to offend my brother-in-law, because his cultural norm did NOT involve his wife walking down the aisle with my brother on the recession. You live, you learn.
Post # 16
For the ceremony, I would simply have the groomsmen enter from the side along with the groom and have the the bridesmaids and Maid/Matron of Honor process by themselves in their proper order. The only time they would be walking together with someone who is not their spouse/FI/date is during the recessional.
If you do not want to have these real-life, non-couples “pair up” for the introductions at the reception, you can instead pair each member of the bridal party with his or her actual spouse/fiance/date for the introductions. Or, you can simply not include the members of the bridal party in the introductions and just have your Darling Husband and yourself announced along with your parents, for example.