(Closed) Procrastinating Groom

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Don’t feel bad – it’s not just you!

I basically had to remind my groom multiple times (to the point of giving him a look when we were with his brothers so he would remember to ask them…and trying to arrange a dinner for two of his friends to come over so he could ask them! He only asked the Best Man without my prompting!)

I honestly don’t think they think of it in a lot of cases…it’s not like being intentionally neglectful (at least in my case).  Like I was seeing these guys – his brothers and friends – and it was like an alarm going off in my head ‘Groomsmen, ask them! Groomsmen, ask them!’) and for him it’s just like – oh, there’s my brother. Or there’s my friend. And nothing else!

Just remind him when you know  he’s going to have the chance to talk to them and then remind him again…it worked for me eventually and didn’t really bother me that much…

Good luck!

Post # 4
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

I know what you mean! It took my Fiance FOREVER to finally ask his guys. Your wedding coordinator probably just needs a number. Can you give her that at least? Then turn into a nagging Fiance with your guy. lol.

Post # 5
1956 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

I was in the same boat, FH waited at least 3 months after I asked my girls to finally email his boys…Guys just don’t get it, just be patient and keep reminding him gently, he’ll get there!

Post # 6
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have the exact same problem – Fiance thinks (and even said) that he should only have to ask them literally, the day before. Men certainly don’t seem to get how this works!


Post # 7
521 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969


So i skipped the procasination by making Will you be my Groomsman cards for my fi to sign and send out. I also set him down and than wrote up a little letter explaining expectation, attire, and such. I typed and he just approved/gave me ideas.

But, I’m a doing-planner. I can’t stand to sit around and wait. ONce I get in the idea in my head, it needs to be done or it drives me crazy lol.

Post # 8
350 posts
Helper bee

OMG been there done that.  I knew who my girls would be even before I ment FH!  Meanwhile he is kinda like Paul Rudd in “I Love You Man”… not too many male friends.  He took MONTHS to pick his guys.  I had to finally put my foot down and make him pick some people already, and he was still one groomsman short, so I made my brother the last groomsman, lol.

Post # 9
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i’m with you all on this one ! My honey , could careless ..i already know who his best man is , but he never asked any of the guys to officially be in the wedding, there are his 3 brothers and 1 bf..so i just tell him ..Make sure who ever is in the wedding ,..does the who suite/tux fitting stuff…thats all i ask ..Meanwhile i have his sister as a bm askin me who his best man is ..I tell her ” Go ask him ” ..lol..

Post # 10
4567 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ha. I don’t think we’ll have this problem, but my boyfriend is kinda like the guy in I Love You, Man and doesn’t have a huge group of friends to choose from. He seriously was going to ask his brother and that’s it! While I have 5 bridesmaids. I like the idea of making cards for him… maybe you could arrange an outing for all of the boys he intends to ask?

Post # 11
51 posts
Worker bee

Welcome to wedding planning!!! lol No, but really, my Fiance is the same way..kind of. He just needs constant reminders.  And yes, this gets pretty old, it’s just what you gotta do.  And a good piece of advice…well this is what worked for me…ONE THING AT A TIME and praise him when he actually does something! lol

 let him know that this is very important to you.

Post # 12
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

As a newly engaged groom (this month), I am predicting that I will procrastinate and already taking measures against it.

I just wrote a thread about this… I believe the reason that guys procrastinate is while they may love you very much and be totally committed to spending the rest of their lives with you, the wedding process is a whole lot of work and doesn’t seem to offer anything for the “stereotypical guy.” No surprise that a guy doesn’t feel motivated to work on something when it’s not appealing to him in any way (spending the rest of his life with you might, but MAYBE not the wedding…)

Take this suggestion for what it’s worth but I say: do the best job you can to get your Fiance “excited” about the actual wedding event and then he will do the work without you needing to beg him…

I just don’t have any idea how to get a guy excited about it yet though, I’m still looking for reasons myself…

Best of luck/best wishes to you.

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