(Closed) Prof said something odd today and I don't know what to make of it

posted 8 years ago in LGBTQ
Post # 17
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Yes, I heard the same thing in college. I see nothing wrong with the concept at all. Nothing to be offended by!

Post # 18
Member
418 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would love it if modern society could take a page out of the Greco-Roman playbook and practice a more free and understanding form of love and affection. I see nothing wrong with it. I identify as heterosexual, but have often joked that if my BFF and I couldn’t find suitable fellas we should drive on up to Vermont and live our lives out together. Lucky for SO and her Fiance we found suitable fellas 😉

The love I have for BFF, for example, is non-sexual but in my esteem every bit as legitimate as the love I have for SO. Obviously, it isn’t quite the same but it also isn’t totally different. I love SO like I love BFF but we bump uglies and share more intimate thoughts and scenarios.

Post # 19
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ya I’ve heard all that stuff before, back when I was in College / University too

The world was a lot different place than it is now in regards to openness about human sexualiy.

And was for eons…  

Things only got a lot more rigid during the Victoria era… and that is where most of our now views on Sexaulity / Social Behaviour etc actually come from… the Victorians defined what they deemed to be “proper” and “improper” on so many levels (changes driven by the socio-economic time)

This is what people talk about when they say a lot of what we believe now religiously was formulated / written down by MAN and not by God… the timeframe after the 1700s… when the “common” man became more educated (learn to read) and the social structure of the world changed as we moved on into the Industrial Age and the 1800s (Industrial Revolution = 1750 to 1850… Queen Victoria’s Reign 1837 to 1901)

 

Post # 20
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think it makes sense historically, and I agree that many people could vacillate between both defined sexualities.  I do, however, understand that an LGBTQ person could find it offensive because of the implication that sexuality might be a choice.  One of the main arguments the LGBTQ community has against prejudice/ignorance is that being gay is not a choice and it shouldn’t be treated as such.  I think the polarizing view of sexuality today has an effect on this.  For some, it’s not a choice, while for others it could depend on where they fall on the Kinsey Scale (as a PP brought up).  I do wish people would understand that sexuality can be fluid.  In our culture and society, we like it clearly defined.  

Post # 21
Member
7899 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

PS, I’d really love to get into the details with you because Greek sexuality is absofreakinglutely fascinating… but I’m super busy and am on rationed bee-time 🙁

Post # 22
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

The Greeks and Romans were very accepting and would often encourage homosexual relationships because it created a stronger military.  Men were not just fighting along side friends and brothers, but lovers as well. 

 

Post # 23
Member
8036 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@AdriannaJean:  I don’t see how this is odd or offensive. I’ve heard this theory before too. Now whether it’s true or not, obviously I’d have to take more than one prof’s opinion and do some research on it myself, but I definitely have heard similar things!

Post # 24
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think that back in those times people were more accepting, which is great!

I don’t think many people are actually completely straight or completely gay. I think most people fall somewhere inbetween, but society has put these labels on it and it’s become the norm to call peple straight, bi or gay, rather than just accepting that it’s not so black and white.

I identify as hetrosexual, but I find women attractive and have kissed 2 girls before. So I guess i’m not COMPLETELY straight, but I think it’s just easier for society to label people. It seems to be all about WHAT you are, instead of who you are. In my mind, labels for sexuality shouldn’t even exist, all they do is make it easier to discriminate because people think they’re different, when really we are ALL different sexually, but when people are lumped into categories it’s easier for people to judge others.

I also don’t see how we can claim to love people for their souls, but then decide it’s ‘wrong’ because of the body that soul is in. Just my 2 cents.

Post # 25
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

View original reply
@Lovemelovemyhorses:  I was just about to reply to this thread but you wrote everything I was thinking!

 

Post # 26
Member
3139 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wouldn’t it be nice if that was still true and that we didn’t have to fight for equality and the right to marry. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was not the discrimination against our community, the segragation of us vs them and one is better than the other. 

I have heard things like this before, not as specific but even in the Aboriginal culture we are called Two Spirited, encompassing both the male and female. So it’s not suprising. 

Post # 27
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I kind of agree with your prof.

My theory is that ppl are on a gradient and it’s a bell curve or something like that. I guess the average wouldn’t be exactly 50/50 due to evolution requiring sexual reproduction. So let’s say the average person is 75% straight 25% gay. And some people are 50/50, some people are 100/0, and some are 0/100. But there are fewer people on the extremes than somewhere along the contiuum and most people are close to the average (somewhat more straight than gay). Our society tells us, especially males, that this is unacceptable and we should only be 100% straight. Most people go along with that and it’s not a big deal because they’re mostly straight anyway.

For people who are mostly gay it’s much harder to go along with it. Sometimes they don’t. They rebel against the culture by declaring themselves 100% gay because they’re tired of being told that there’s something wrong with them because of their gay desires and that they should force themselves to only acknowledge their straight desires. Bisexuals actually choose to acknowledge the ability to be attracted to both genders but they are often rejected by the gay community because they want to insist that gay means only 100% gay (even though that isn’t even fully true for most of them) just because they’re trying to have a clear identity and rebel against the unfair concept that “it’s a choice and they made the wrong one.”

That’s my theory and I’m stickin’ to it… at least until I hear of or can think of something better 🙂

Post # 28
Member
733 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I took a sexuality course and we learned that back in the cave man days (sorry, I don’t remember the proper name) they were all bisexual.

I don’t find it offensive at all, I don’t see any reason to. I find truth to it, because I think we are all human on some level and capable of loving someone for who they are, not their sex, we are just socialized in culture to believe that it’s “normal” to love someone who you naturally can procreate with.

Post # 29
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@eimajleigh:  Also, Spartans are hot. I mean seriously who WOULDNT want a peice of that?

Kidding…sort of.

Post # 30
Member
1524 posts
Bumble bee

I don’t think people can control where they fall on the scale of sexuality, but I do think that most people fall somewhere in the middle, but end up pushed to one side or another to “fit” into the categories our society makes. Almost all of the lesbians I know have slept with guys, but then decided to stick to girls and it gets really frustrating for some people who are gay or lesbian because then other people might try to label them as ‘bi’. 

I think it’s silly to label people, and I would much rather live in a society where fitting into a specific category wasn’t so important. It’s all just ways of controlling people and putting them into groups. Homosexuality wasn’t considered really taboo even in the 1800’s and although married, I believe it was Lincoln who had diaries talking about sleeping in bed with another man, but I could be wrong about who it was. It wasn’t that uncommon. Women getting extra friendly with each other was normal too. 

Personally, I know I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m with a man because I’m more emotionally attracted to men and prefer to have relationships with men, but I’m very attracted to women and find them much more attractive and sexier than men. I still love having sex with my husband. 

I feel like labeling and categories just leads to repression in many cases and can be the cause of a lot of resentment because people have to hide parts of themselves in some cases. I think it would be healthier for people to express their attraction without feeling that it’s wrong.

Post # 31
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Historically, this is absolutely correct. To an extent, being an academic, I feel that whether it is offensive or not comes second to whether the analysis is correct or not. There are many cultures around the world which practised what we would now call homosexual sex, but it was always in conjunction with heterosexual sex. Homosexual sex was recreational, and a way of creating social bonds between men. Heterosexual sex was for procreation, and to preserve the social situation.

In evolutionary terms, this is slightly similar to the animal kingdom, where several species (bonobos being the most famous) sexually display to both genders. The “homoosexual” displays are to establish rank, with the lowest ranked male or female being mounted. The “heterosexual” displays are for procreation.

PS I would, however, be careful when you suggest that people were more accepting in the past, because they weren’t. In every society, there were strict codes of behaviour and breaking them would have caused outrage. For example, in Ancient Greece then homosexual affairs were only for young boys the same age, or for a much older mentor and a young boy (the mentor would “initiate” the boy, both into society and in… other ways… and prepare him for citizenship and marriage). They were certainly not for two respected, older men, and if such men had started living together… well… flaming torch time!

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