Post # 1
So I’m trying to do our ceremony programs…
How sad is it that the part that is stumping me is how to list our parents??
Quick backstory: Both of our parents are divorced. My mom is remarried and my dad is remarried. His mom is remarried (but separated) and his dad is not remarried but has been dating the same woman for 11 years. I informally refer to her as his step-mom.
How the heck do I list this? Do I include step-parents? If so, do I include his mom’s estranged husband and his dad’s long-term gf? The only one I *want* to include is my step-dad, because he’s been there for me a LOT. Fiance is pretty adamant that his mom’s soon-to-be-ex not be included (which I agree with.)
Also, my mom is a Dr and her last name is hyphenated, so I couldn’t put Mr and Dr Mark Smith because….her last name isn’t the same exactly as my step-dad’s. Ohh confusion!
So here is an example, using totally made up names but correct titles:
Dr. Mary A____ Jones-Smith (mom)
Mr. Mark J____ Smith (step-dad)
Mr. John M______ Jones (dad)
Mrs. Margaret M____ Jones (step-mom)
Mr. Joe E_____ Davis (FI’s dad)
Ms. Alice A_____ Brown (FI’s Dad’s GF)
Mrs. Jane B______ Wilson (FI’s Mom)
Mr. Not Included (FI’s soon-to-be-ex-step-dad)
Post # 4
I think it really depends on the relationships you and Fiance have with your parents’ spouses. Did they raise you? Do you think of them of an extra parent? Unless you feel very close to the spouses, I would just list biological parents. I’d put the biological parents on separate lines (see below) so people don’t think they are still together
Mother of the Bride: Dr. Mary A____ Jones-Smith (mom)
Father of the Bride: Mr. John M______ Jones (dad)
Mother of the Groom: Mrs. Jane B______ Wilson (FI’s Mom)
Father of the Groom: Mr. Joe E_____ Davis (FI’s dad)
Post # 6
I agree. Only go with biological parents. If you explain the confusion, do you think they will understand? Maybe the newspaper announcement (if you’re doing one) is a way to honor the step parents.
Post # 7
Thanks guys. 🙂 That’s what I was leaning towards, I think.
The only step-parent that we feel bad about excluding is my step-dad. He’s been a part of my life since I was 10 (or 9?). I lived with my mom and my step-dad until I went to college, so I never lived with my step-mom. She’s nice but not anything like my step-dad’s influence.
And Fiance doesn’t care for his Dad’s Girlfriend much and obviously not for his mom’s almost-ex.
Post # 9
I would say
Parents of the bride: Mr. Jones and Mr. Jones and Mrs. Jones-Smith
Parents of the groom: Mr. Davis and Mrs. Wilson
Post # 10
What if you list out your and your FI’s biological parents (give them the title of Parents of the Bride and Parents of the Groom). Then somewhere else on the program say, “We would also like to give a special thanks to _______ for their support and love over the years” (or something that is meaningful to you). This way you can acknowledge people that are special to you. Just an idea…
Post # 11
I’d say list the married couples in the traditional way, the single biological parents (if unmarried) on their own line. Girlfriends of parents do not get listed in the program unless you really want them to imo.
Post # 12
It seems weird to me to include your step-dad, but not your step-mom… if it were me, I’d do this:
Parents of the Bride:
John and Margaret Jones
Mary Jones-Smith and Mark Smith
Parents of the Groom:
Post # 13
True. I like your suggestion. As far as step-dad over step-mom, I think really it’s because my step-dad has had more to do with my life than even my biological dad. That’s why I would feel awkward leaving him off. My step-mom, honestly, is a very nice lady but I see her a few times a year. My step-dad is the one that bought my first car, taught me how to drive, helped me with homework, was at my high school and college graduations. But anyways, don’t want to get too far into that can of worms. Lol. So I think I’ll run it by Fiance to do things that way and see what he thinks.
That’s what I was originally thinking too, but I guess it is odd to leave off step-mom like @bluebonnet said.
Post # 14
Yeah, I totally get the emotional reasons behind you wanting to include your step-dad WAY more than you want to include your step-mom. Makes total sense. I was just thinking that on something official like this, it might be offensive to your step-mom if she doesn’t get treated the same as your step-dad… it just seems like if I were her, I’d end up thinking where’s my name? I married her parent too…
I doubt your step-dad would be hurt if step-mom’s name was included, but it seems like step-mom might have her feelings hurt if step-dad is there but she isn’t…
Post # 15
Very true! I don’t know that she’d care (I may do some sleuthing to see what my step-sister did on hers, just to compare) but I do see your point! I think that’s how I’ll do it. 🙂