Post # 1
I recently sent my mother a rough draft of the wedding program. She was not happy about the way her and my fathers named appeared, as opposed to my FI’s. I politely informed her that, since you are no longer married your names would not be joined together and thus the separate lines. Please let me know who is right and what looks better. FI’s parents are married, mine are not although they have the same last name, which is confusing me on the etiquette of this)
parents of the bride
parents of the groom
Carl & Jennifer Smith
Post # 3
I don’t know what etiquette says, but I kind of agree with you, seperate lines!
Post # 5
Parents of Bride
Mr. Daniel Jones & Ms. Ann Jones
Parents of Groom
Mr. & Mrs. Carl Smith?
That would be the only other way I would consider doing it. I am in the same situation. But my parents are married and his are not. We’ll see. Still not sure how i’m doing it either…
Post # 6
I think that they should be separate because they are no longer married, but if it will create an issue with your mom then maybe just give in and put them together. (Although, I would leave them as is)
Post # 7
I like what DemoDreamer suggested. It is kind of a compromise, and using Ms. would clear up any confusion.
Post # 8
I agree with DemoDreamer, also. Plus, it’ll take up less space on your program! : )
Post # 9
There really isn’t any specific etiquette for programmes (because they used to be just a means of telling guests which page to turn to in their hymnal or prayer book, and didn’t have a lot of names in them besides the reader, soloist and preacher). You just follow the same general etiquette followed in all social correspondence which is: you do not join two adult’s names together unless they are married.
DemoDreamer’s suggestion isn’t really a compromise: it is the way you join a married couples’ names when the wife is using her own name or has a title. Some matrons prefer it as a general form for married couples except when the woman goes entirely by her husband’s name (as in Mrs John Doe). It still suggests to your guests that the couple is married, and it’s generally not proper form to mislead your guests.
I would stick with what you’ve got. If it gets too dramatic you can just sigh deeply and look worried and say “maybe I’d just better leave names off the programme altogether”, and let her divert her effort into persuading you to include her name *at all*.
Or <g> maybe your mother would consider remarrying your father for a few weeks so that her name can legitimately appear as she wishes it to.
Post # 10
I say if they aren’t married then do two separate lines. Thats how I have my parent’s in our program and my FI’s parents as well.