(Closed) Program / Father’s Wife Question

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m not totally sure on the etiquette here, but it seems to me that you should treat both stepmothers the same. You can either ignore them, and write “father of the bride….mother of the bride… father of the groom… etc” or you could do the same thing and just add to the list “stepmother of the bride…stepmother of the groom…”

If FI’s stepmom isn’t thought of as a “parent,” then certainly don’t refer to her as such. (I don’t think you need a formal heading of “parents.” You could just label everyone as I did above. Or maybe have the heading be “family.”) But perhaps the awkwardness would come in if you do think of your stepmom as a “parent…” I still think both should be referred to as the same.

Post # 4
Member
122 posts
Blushing bee

i think @joy2011 ‘s response is the most politically correct, but i would speak to your Fiance see what he thinks then speak to his father, personally and i am generally all for furrling as many feathers as possible your stepmother i would mention she has been around for a long time and even tho i dont know your age presumably she’s been around for the more informative years of your life (teens early twenties) his stepmother has not.

I will most definatly be mentioning my stepmother but she has been married to my father since i was 16 and i love her wouldn’t have it any other way and yet had my mother not seperated from her husband i would not be mentioning him even tho they married when i was 14.

talk to your Fiance – its about your day x

 

Post # 5
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I agree with @joy2011 that you really can’t list one stepmother and not the other — and I like her suggestions.  Another thought is that maybe under Parents of the Bride (and Parents of the Groom), you could list:

Ms. Jane Smith

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith

 

That way both of your biological parents are the only ones mentioned by name (to appease FI’s mom), but your stepmothers aren’t totally ignored either.

Post # 6
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I come from a non-divorced family, so excuse me if I am way off base. I don’t see why you would mention the step-mothers at all, as neither of them are your parents? If you father’s wife was the woman who raised you then by all means I think you should put her down. If your mom brought you up though, I think it is a bit insulting to her to be placed on the same level as a step-mother, don’t you think?

Post # 7
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would either list with titles as one PP or I would go with Neva and list them as a couple. I think you should list all parents even if they are step or just skip the parent section.

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