Post # 1
I am working on my program, and I am not sure who to list under Parents of the Bride and Parents of the Groom.
Both our parents are divorced, and both fathers have remarried. My father remarried about 15 years ago, and FI’s father remarried last year (their divorce is still fresh).
Should I be listing both of these women under the parents section? It seems strange to put in FI’s father’s new wife, especially when Fiance is 37 and she isn’t really a parent, but I also think I have to include my Dad’s wife since she’s been around so long.
I don’t want to rustle any feathers. Does anyone know the ettiquette on this? I just know FI’s mom will flip out if she sees the new wife listed as a parent.
Post # 3
I’m not totally sure on the etiquette here, but it seems to me that you should treat both stepmothers the same. You can either ignore them, and write “father of the bride….mother of the bride… father of the groom… etc” or you could do the same thing and just add to the list “stepmother of the bride…stepmother of the groom…”
If FI’s stepmom isn’t thought of as a “parent,” then certainly don’t refer to her as such. (I don’t think you need a formal heading of “parents.” You could just label everyone as I did above. Or maybe have the heading be “family.”) But perhaps the awkwardness would come in if you do think of your stepmom as a “parent…” I still think both should be referred to as the same.
Post # 4
i think @joy2011 ‘s response is the most politically correct, but i would speak to your Fiance see what he thinks then speak to his father, personally and i am generally all for furrling as many feathers as possible your stepmother i would mention she has been around for a long time and even tho i dont know your age presumably she’s been around for the more informative years of your life (teens early twenties) his stepmother has not.
I will most definatly be mentioning my stepmother but she has been married to my father since i was 16 and i love her wouldn’t have it any other way and yet had my mother not seperated from her husband i would not be mentioning him even tho they married when i was 14.
talk to your Fiance – its about your day x
Post # 5
I agree with @joy2011 that you really can’t list one stepmother and not the other — and I like her suggestions. Another thought is that maybe under Parents of the Bride (and Parents of the Groom), you could list:
Ms. Jane Smith
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
That way both of your biological parents are the only ones mentioned by name (to appease FI’s mom), but your stepmothers aren’t totally ignored either.
Post # 6
I come from a non-divorced family, so excuse me if I am way off base. I don’t see why you would mention the step-mothers at all, as neither of them are your parents? If you father’s wife was the woman who raised you then by all means I think you should put her down. If your mom brought you up though, I think it is a bit insulting to her to be placed on the same level as a step-mother, don’t you think?
Post # 7
I would either list with titles as one PP or I would go with Neva and list them as a couple. I think you should list all parents even if they are step or just skip the parent section.
Post # 8
I feel i need to mention my fathers wife because she and him and paying for the entire wedding, and i have known her since i was young. i think by excluding them i risk offending our fathers, but by including them offending the mothers. My mother thinks that my father’s wife should be listed, but the more i hem and haw over it, the more confused i feel!!1